Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16818093080782259424/episodes/16818093082498788405
★Jinguji Mari（side)
My name is Jinguji Mari, or you could say Honno Manami.
What are you talking about? You may think, but I mean it as it is.
I have a memory of my previous life.
I was Honno Manami, a sophomore in college.
According to the specs, I was a slightly cute girl who was a bit popular, not a gyaru (gal), but a yo-kyaku (young, cheerful person).
Well, even though I was a “cheerful person,” I never had a boyfriend.
I had a hobby of ergoe
Of course, I couldn’t tell my friends about it, and I was a bit nervous about it.
If that was all, you might think that I could have a boyfriend.
But there was a definite reason why I could not.
It was around the time when I was a sophomore in high school.
I came across a certain Eroge game.
Apparently, it was an eroge that was made two years before that time.
That was the first time I played eroge.
My best friend was a fan of eroge and insisted that I play it and wanted to talk about it with me, so I had no choice but to try it.
At the time, I was only slightly interested in s*x.
So I thought it would be okay if I just played it.
However, I had one overwhelming miscalculation.
The game I played was called “Where My Childhood Friends Go.”
I played it anyway, and the first thing I thought was that the heroines were too cute.
That was fine, but the problem was the male character, Sano Akuru
To be honest, it was love at first sight.
I didn’t care about Kamiya or anything, I just wanted to see more of Sano Akuru.
He looked like a prince and he was my type.
Of course there are some scenes in this eroge, but his well-trained body was just great.
The only drawback was his personality.
I didn’t like his violent and disregardful personality.
So I could like him because he was in the game world, but if he existed in real life, I would probably be attracted to him, but I wasn’t sure if I could truly like him…I thought that was about it.
But after seeing Sano Akuru, I couldn’t be interested in 3 dimensional men.
I guess he was my ideal, except for his personality.
Although I understood that there are two dimensions and three dimensions, I couldn’t help but compare them.
Therefore, I never accepted a confession even if someone confessed his feelings for me.
This did not change when I entered my second year of college.
I spent my time feeling a little insecure about myself.
One day I came home as usual and went to bed tired.
But when I woke up, I found myself in a place I did not know.
As I said before, I was reincarnated as Jinguji Mari.
Of course, at that time, I did not think that I had been reincarnated in the world of “where my childhood friends go.”
Because there has never been a girl like Jinguji Mari.
I thought I was small and when I looked in the mirror, I saw a girl with black hair, blue eyes, doll-like and absurdly cute.
It seemed that I was reincarnated as a fourth grader.
I’ve calmed down and thought about it, and apparently this girl doesn’t like boys.
When she sees boys, she instinctively feels a sense of dislike for them.
It is no wonder; she is half-Japanese, with silver hair and blue eyes, and because of this she is an outcast.
The girls don’t do anything directly to her, but they basically ignore her.
The boys are abusive and some of them are even violent.
They say that the blue eyes are particularly disgusting.
I feel nauseous when I look at them, I feel fear, I feel like I’m going to be cursed, and such words have been thrown at me many times.
It is natural to dislike them if they do this to you.
However, this girl seems to have a favorite child.
According to my memory, I’ve only met him once, but I’m in love with him.
Apparently, we met by chance when we were in the third grade of elementary school.
At that time, Jinguji Mari was completely distrustful of people because she had been bullied and was always told that she was a “monster” or that she looked like an old lady, so there was not a millimeter of confidence in her.
I acted as if people would stop abusing me if I changed my appearance.
I tried dying my hair black, but it didn’t change.
I tried wearing colored contacts, but nothing changed.
Knowing the real me, I was told, “Don’t imitate us, it’s weird.”
Apparently, that was the reason I gave up everything.
That’s why I stopped wearing colored contacts, and I had no intention of dying my hair again.
To put it another way, she was trapped to the point where she could have committed suicide even though she was still in elementary school.
At that time, she was saved when she met a boy about her age.
The boy told her that she had beautiful blue eyes.
Whenever Mari had a bad day, she would look at her mother’s picture and get over it.
However, she got shaken up when he said that and dropped the picture of her mother that she always carried around with her.
But when the boy saw it, he said she was beautiful with beautiful silver hair.
Mari was horrified and asked, “Doesn’t silver hair make you feel uncomfortable?”
He replied, “Why, it’s beautiful!”
Mari cried when she heard those words.
It was a mixture of happiness and sadness.
She had always been denied, but now she was told that her silver hair and blue eyes were beautiful.
That fact pierced her heart so deeply that she couldn’t stop crying because she had been holding back until now.
The boy stroked her head and stayed with her until she stopped crying.
When she stopped crying, he smiled and asked me if she was okay now, and Mari nodded her head.
After that, the boy told Mari an interesting story.
Mari was silent the whole time, but her heart was warming.
Apparently this happened to me.
I was reincarnated and my feelings were apparently pulled by the original Jinguji Mari, or perhaps I was attracted to that boy.
I mean, my body and brain instinctively cannot accept men other than that boy.
Except for my family, of course.
But before reincarnation, Jinguji Mari had not been able to change, and apparently did not want to be with the boy.
She thought that she and such a wonderful boy were not compatible, and gave up on the idea.
Even though she was in pain, she overcame it and persevered with the memory of that boy.
That’s how she lived her life.
So I decided.
I decided that since I had been given this girl’s body, I would fulfill her wishes on her behalf.
Well, it was also true that I was interested in that boy myself.
From that day on, I worked very hard to change myself, to improve myself, to study hard, etc., and by the time I entered high school, I was famous.
After I changed, the boys who had been bullying me started to like me, and it was weird.
But in order to act like a good person, I had to treat those boys moderately.
That was the only thing that was really hard for me.
I didn’t know the boy’s name at the time, so there was no way to find him.
There was a time when I was stuck and I couldn’t help it, I was a little addicted to pretty girls.
Well, that doesn’t really matter now.
I was at my wit’s end until one day I saw a magazine.
My eyes were glued to one of the boys in it.
It was Sano Akuru from “Where My Childhood Friends Go”.
My heart was beating so fast that I was surprised to see it.
Instinctively, I knew it was the boy I had met in the past.
But I was more puzzled by the presence of Sano Akuru.
Because I now realized that my reincarnation was the game
Well, it’s probably not surprising that I didn’t notice it, since I certainly didn’t spend any time where I was involved in the main story.
In the game, there was no Jinguji Mari, but when you think about it, this is the game world, not the real world.
It is not at all surprising that I met someone I did not in the game.
It wouldn’t be surprising if we met someone that didn’t exist in the game.
I was very interested in Sano Akuru from that moment on.
Even without Jinguji Mari’s intentions before my reincarnation, I was interested in him.
I couldn’t stop my heart from pounding because Jinguji Mari’s thoughts were mixed up in it.
I told my father.
I saw the magazine and said I was interested in Sano Akuru.
Dad was surprised because he knows I don’t like boys, but when he found out it was Sano Akuru, he got on board.
Apparently, he was the son of one of my father’s acquaintances.
I was very surprised, but it was convenient.
But at the same time, I thought that Sano Akuru probably didn’t know that I was doing something selfish.
Otherwise, he would never have gotten on board.
Dad said he would investigate and see what he could find out.
I knew what kind of person Sano Akuru was, so I was trying to figure out how to convince him after the investigation.
To be honest, I would like to meet him at least once.
If he was a terrible character, then I and Jinguji Mari before her reincarnation would give up, or so I thought.
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Such plot… But I wonder why the author is adding this all of a sudden.