Episode 20

“Why don’t we go to school a little early today?”

My sister Alice said this to me while we were eating breakfast made by her as usual.

“……Why?”

“Because I’m in that kind of mood. The weather is nice today, so I wanted to get out of the house a little bit early.”

Mood, huh? I guess it’s probably not true.
But I’m not going to ask further. Pretending not to notice, I continued my conversation with Alice.

“I think the weather was also nice yesterday.”

“It’s uncouth to say things like that, Nii san. Girls are moody.”

“Is that how it is……”

“That’s the way it is.”

Alice picks up the cup and takes a sip.
Her gesture is somehow graceful.
Differences in the upbringings…well, we grew up in the same house, so in this case it would be more correct to say that we had different educational policies.
I would never be like that. I don’t have good looks to begin with, but even if you take that out of the equation, I have to say that Alice is still different from me. My sister is a person who lives in a different world from mine.

(Yes, Alice is different. Not at all like me.)

I knew that a long time ago. I thought I knew that, and yet here we are, having a meal together, facing each other.
It was just a little bit strange. I wonder what my old self would look like if I found out this was happening to me.

(I don’t think he would make a good face.)

In fact, he might even lecture me about what I was doing.
What in the world am I doing, making Amane cry? The old me would have said.

“Nii san !”

I’m suddenly called by a voice.
My consciousness, which had been skipping to the past, is quickly pulled up, and I involuntarily look up.

“I think it’s best not to think about anything else.”

“Eh……?”

“It seems that you have times when you’re worried. There’s nothing good that can happen if you worry about it all by yourself.”

“Well, that may be true, but……”

“If you have something on your mind, you can talk to me about it. We are family. If you’re feeling lost or lost in thought, I want to help you.”

Because this has never been possible before.
Alice muttered and sipped from her cup again.
Watching her move, I think a little.

(Worried, huh?)

Right, I have a problem.
But it’s not something I should be talking about right now. Especially not to Alice.
Even if I was asked to talk about it, if I could do anything about it by talking about it, I would have already done so. I shook my head slowly.

“Thank you, Alice But I’m sorry. This is something I have to solve.”

I smile at Alice to fool her.
At the same time, I made up my mind that I will take care of Amane myself.

“Nii san, I’m……”

“Besides, if you’re going to leave the house, I think you should start getting ready now. I’ll go back to my room and change. I don’t mind if Alice uses the sink first.”

As soon as I said that, I got up from the chair.
Then, as if running away, I headed to my room.
……This is fine. It may be forceful, but it’s more important to end the conversation.

“Maybe I was being too contrived, but I can’t help it.”

Because talking to Alice won’t help.
The two of them have known for a long time that they are not compatible with each other.
No, I don’t know what Alice actually thinks of Amane, but it’s clear that Amane doesn’t think well of Alice.

(For now, it’s better not to put Alice and Amane together……)

It’s better for both of them.
I told myself that and opened the door to my room.

“I knew that you still couldn’t forget about her, Nii san.”

I knew that. Even though I knew that.
I knew that, but……

“I don’t like it. Nii san.”

I can’t believe you have another girl in your heart.　
I understand that it is a selfish idea. But I still can’t forgive you for that. And it frustrates me.

“Is this what jealousy is all about?”

I have never experienced it before.

“I’m in pain, Nii san.”

My heart hurts. Painful. A feeling that cannot be put into words overflows, as if it is being torn from the depths of my body.
But I can’t bring this on to Nii san. He must not know.

“Even though I love you……!”

I’m not allowed to speak of this feeling to Nii san.
However, that person can do it. I can’t help but envy that.

That’s why I can’t allow that person to be near Nii san.

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