Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16818622176550308690/episodes/16818792437151972924
“Maeda-san, you see… she called me a plague god.”
Sena had already released her embrace around me.
But her hands remained tightly intertwined with mine. Feeling the warmth of Sena’s skin made me realize I had to tell her properly.
“At first, I wondered why she’d say something so cruel. But… I ended up thinking Maeda-san was right. Because—I’ve hurt Akito over and over, all to protect my own happiness. And not just Akito… I think I’ve hurt and made miserable so many people. Without even realizing it myself…”
“…………, Renka…”
“And yet—I’m saying I like Akito now. After saying such awful things just a little while ago. Just the other day, I even said I hated him. Surely… Akito must have been really hurt.”
I’d seen it in my dreams so many times.
That day—when Akito stared at me blankly with his colorless eyes.
Every time I remembered it, my chest ached intensely.
But surely, Akito must have suffered hundreds of times more than this pain.
“Someone like me… I don’t think I have any right to still like Akito.”
I smiled.
I think I managed to smile.
I felt something cold trickle down my cheek—but surely, I must have smiled well.
Putting on a brave face like this is my only talent.
“So… I’m sorry, Sena. I don’t think I can grant your wish…”
Because.
I am—just like Maeda-san said—a plague
.
“…I don’t think I can make Akito happy. So… I’m sorry, Sena. I’m truly sorry…”
“……………….”
Sena didn’t say anything back.
She just held my hand tightly and stared intently at my profile.
“—Hey, Renka.”
After a while.
Sena’s hand slipped away from mine.
I guess I disappointed her after all—just as I thought that, Sena smiled, picked up the mic, and said,
“We made a reservation, after all. Want to sing karaoke together?”
The musician’s ad that had been playing on an endless loop abruptly switched.
The monitor displayed the same text as before: ‘Bitter Chocolate in Love’.
Poke poke. Sena’s microphone jabbed at my chest.
“Hey. The song’s about to start!”
“Eh… b-but—”
“Just do it! Come on, stand up, stand up!”
Sena forcefully grabbed my arm and pulled my seated body up.
Surrendering to Sena’s guidance, I found myself standing up. Without thinking, I took the microphone she was thrusting at me, and
“Alright then, here we go! Presenting ‘Bitter Chocolate in Love’ by the lovey-dovey best friend unit, Sena and Renka!”
“Huh? Ah, um—”
Honestly… I just felt like, whatever happens, happens.
I gripped the microphone. I pulled it up to my mouth and decided to sing with all my might.
Midway through, I nearly got swept away by Sena’s incredibly enthusiastic singing several times—but somehow, I think I managed to sing the whole thing in tune.
Sena was panting, “Huff, puff.” I was a bit tired too, since I suddenly had to sing so loudly.
The monitor displayed—75 points. An indescribably awkward score.
Seeing that, Sena and I exchanged glances.
Without either of us starting, we both started giggling softly.
“Hehe, ahaha! Renka really is good, huh? Could she go pro?”
“…Hehe, you’re exaggerating, Sena. That’s disrespectful to actual pros, you know?”
“But Renka, you’re a rare talent—good looks, great figure, amazing voice! Ha… I’d be your producer, and you’d be idol Fujisaki Renka—heh heh heh, I can already smell the money.”
“Ugh. Sena, you’re making a wicked face.”
“Fufu. Renka has such a cute face, you know? Your cheeks are so soft and plump too!”
Saying that, Sena poked my cheeks playfully with her fingers.
Infected by her innocent smile—not the stubbornness from earlier—I found myself smiling too.
“Ah. Speaking of which—after the sixth-grade sports festival, we all went to karaoke, right? Do you remember, Renka?”
“Yeah, I remember. It was fun, right?”
In the end—that year, the Red Team ended up in last place.
But. We, Class 1-6, managed to win the Cheering Award.
We didn’t achieve our goal of a double win, but Sena was smiling happily. After that, she cried a lot too. Caught up in it, I cried a lot too. I heard later that even the boy who led the boycott was secretly crying in the shadows, wasn’t he?
“You know what happened then? After I sang first, guess what Akito-kun said to me?”
Sena narrowed her eyes, exhaling with a look of displeasure.
“He said, ‘Sena, you’ve got great athletic skills, but you’re totally tone-deaf, huh?’ See? Isn’t that awful?”
Ah… Come to think of it, I vaguely remember that happening.
Sena pouted angrily. But I thought, Sena really is bad at lying—her profile looked so happy.
“Akito-kun really has no tact, you know? Just like Renka said, he’s totally useless. Right, Renka?”
“Ah… well, that…”
“Hehe. No, Renka. That’s not what I meant—”
In a gentle tone, Sena continued.
Her voice was like recalling that embrace, gently enveloping my heart.
“—I was hurt by Akito-kun back then. But look! I still really like Akito-kun, you know?”
“…Huh?”
“I bet Akito kun feels the same way, too. Sure, he must have been hurt by your tsundere attitude sometimes—but then, you know? If you could make Akito so happy he’d forget all that, wouldn’t that be enough? That’s what I think.”
It was a pure smile.
Sena must truly mean it from the bottom of her heart.
For my happiness.
“…But I still…”
“Yeah. Tell me?”
“…I’m not confident. I… I worry I might hurt Akito again…”
That was the one thing she absolutely hated.
At the very least… I never wanted to hurt Akito again.
If that meant I couldn’t be his girlfriend, so be it. If my being by his side only caused him pain—I’d rather keep my distance from him altogether.
“I see. You’re kind, Renka.”
But Sena.
With eyes that were utterly sincere, she smiled warmly.
“But then, you know… Why not take just a little more time to think about it?”
“…Take more time?”
“Yeah, take your time. Talk more with Akito, hang out, spend time together. That way, maybe someday, you’ll find the answer inside yourself? What you want to be with Akito, I mean.”
“But… wouldn’t that… bother Akito…?”
“Who knows? Maybe it would be, maybe it wouldn’t—we won’t know unless we try. Right?”
Blink blink. Sena gave me a cheerful wink.
Ah—I just can’t win against Sena.
I couldn’t hold back any longer.
Before I knew it, my body moved on its own—squeeze. I was clinging to Sena’s body with all my strength.
“——Sena!”
“Hey, Renka!? …Seriously. What’s wrong?”
“Sena. I also—I really like you.”
I managed to clearly say the words I couldn’t say earlier.
The neck of Sena, right before my eyes, flushed bright red all at once. I thought it was cute.
—Maeda-san was right. I think I’ve made dozens of people unhappy up until now.
Akito, Sena… Hideki, Yuri, Dad, Mom… I’ve surely hurt so many people.
But. I have Sena.
Sena always calls me her best friend. She tells me she’s happy, with that bright smile of hers.
And that best friend of mine is cheering on my love like this.
So then—at the very least, I want to face this seriously.
I want to know more about Akito’s feelings.
I want to see for myself what makes Akito happiest.
“Yeah. I love you too, Renka.”
Feeling Sena’s kindness and warmth envelop me completely.
I decided to try my best. For Sena, who supports me so gently, I absolutely don’t want to run away anymore.
The last tear that rolled down my cheek tasted a little bitter, and faintly sweet.
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