Episode 40 – My true feelings

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https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16818622176550308690/episodes/16818792435486307653

The men’s basketball game began, and finally entered the fourth quarter.

The score was 18-111. Right after the start, they conceded a three-point shot, and the gap widened again.

We watched the outcome of the game from the second floor of the gymnasium.

But…the atmosphere was so heavy that no one could speak. Even Sena and Hideki, who usually liven up the mood, were silent, just staring at the game.

“……..Akito…..”

I couldn’t take my eyes off him.

He was the only one there who wasn’t on the basketball team. Still, Akito was playing his heart out, clinging to the game. Maybe he realized he was often left open in the second half, so he started actively asking for passes and taking shots.

I remembered last night.

I got to talk to Akito again after a long time. Not only that, but we played basketball together and he even walked me home…..It was such a happy time.  

(…What’s wrong with me? I couldn’t even talk to Akito before.)  

It was a strange feeling.  

For some reason, I was able to approach him with an honest heart yesterday. I didn’t act tough or say mean things like I usually do.  

I think—I was scared.

I didn’t want to be separated from Akito anymore. That’s why I think I was able to muster up the courage yesterday. If I didn’t, I felt like I might never be able to talk to Akito again.  

“…Hey, Renka.”  

Suddenly,  

Sena, who was sitting next to me, called my name.  

Her voice sounded dull, lacking her usual energy.  

“Did I do something wrong to Akito kun…”

“…Eh?”

“I knew Akito kun didn’t like standing out, but I made him the captain of the basketball team. Because of that, things turned out like this…”

Looking down, Sena bit her lip.

“…I’m sorry, Renka. You tried your best for me, but in the end, we lost.”

“………………”

Why, I thought.

Why…why would Sena say something like that?

“Don’t be so down, Sena. Akito isn’t the type to care about something like that.”

Hideki’s gentle voice came from next to Sena.

“Well, the result was disappointing, but we’ve got the sports festival coming up, so let’s make up for it then.”

…Hideki feels the same way.

He claims to be Akito’s best friend, after all.

“That’s right, Senarin, cheer up!”

Suzukita, who was supposed to be sitting far away, walked over to Sena.

“It’s all my fault for being so selfish to Ayatacchi. But look, there won’t be any class changes next year, so we’ll still be in the same class, right? So let’s try harder next year, okay?”

…Even Suzukita san is saying that.

Why is everyone acting like this?

The score is 18-117. If they score one more point, the gap will finally reach 100 points.

Some of the people in the stands were no longer watching the game. I could even hear snickers.

The Nakajima kun team playing in the game also seemed to be holding back.

But—but he was different.  

Akito was the only one fighting desperately, refusing to give up. That’s why,  

(…Everyone, please pay attention to Akito…!)  

Akito received the pass and dribbled toward the goal.  

But he couldn’t get past the defense, so he had no choice but to pass to Okubo kun. While carefully passing the ball around to try to restart the play, Akito was running quickly to shake off his marker.  

……..Akito is still playing with all his might.

He’s trying harder than anyone else on the field to score.

(…..Akito…)

Yesterday. Going back further, even back to that time by the riverbank.

…..No, that’s not right.

I’ve known this feeling all along.

Akito is lazy, sloppy, irresponsible, and not very good at studying or sports.

He doesn’t care about his bedhead or his tie or his appearance. At mealtimes, he’s picky and doesn’t think about nutrition.

Plus, he stays up late playing games all the time, so he always has dark circles under his eyes.

And yet—when he’s giving it his all, he’s cooler than anyone else.

The side of his face when he’s working hard for someone else is brighter than any light. 

“…….est”  

Ah—so that’s it.  

I can’t resist the urge welling up from the depths of my body. I don’t even intend to resist it.  

Before I knew it, I had jumped onto the fence in front of the seats. Leaning over the railing, I opened my eyes wide. I took a deep breath.  

I wanted to see him from as close as possible.

I wanted to convey my feelings to him with a louder voice.

So, I…

I stared straight at him—my beloved childhood friend—and shouted,

“——Do your best, Akito…!!”

Before I knew it, I was shouting with all my might.

My strained voice echoed off the gym ceiling. The cheers of Class A fell silent.

At the same time—the sound of Akito’s basketball shoes hitting the floor echoed through the silence.  

Far away, outside the white line.  

From the three-point line, he quietly took a shot.  

(…Right. That’s how I felt…)  

In that moment.  

Our eyes met.  

His profile—yes, as I thought.  

He’s the coolest person in the world, cooler than anyone else.

“——I like Akito after all…”

Splash. A pleasant, beautiful sound.

The whistle signaling the score doesn’t reach my ears.

Because…my heartbeat was too loud.

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