Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16818622176550308690/episodes/16818622177540925475
Akito had a fever—that’s what I heard from Sena a few minutes ago.
We were discussing what to do next in a gloomy atmosphere.
Then, Hideki ruffled his blond hair and said,
“What should we do, Renka? Should we just cancel today?”
“Eh? M-me?”
“Akito’s parents are probably away again this year, right? So Akito is probably alone right now.”
“Well, I guess so…”
Akito’s parents are very close. That’s why they always go on a couple’s trip during Golden Week every year.
But if that’s the case, Akito is probably alone at home right now.
It must be so hard to be suffering from a fever and have no one to rely on…
“It’s okay, Renka. Don’t worry about us, just go.”
Sena gave me a bright smile and said that to me.
“Go” means…to visit Akito, right?
But I…
“…No, it’s okay. If I go, I might end up bothering Akito instead…”
The truth is—I want to be by Akito’s side.
I want to do what I can for him.
But…it was just as scary.
—What if Akito rejects me again?
—What if my meddling makes Akito look annoyed?
Thinking about it made my legs tremble. I just couldn’t muster the courage.
“Renka. Are you sure that’s okay?”
“Yeah. …That stupid Akito. He’s always so careless, so it’s no surprise he gets sick at a crucial moment like this.”
Ah…here we go again.
I’m saying this again.
To hide my true feelings, I always end up being harsh toward Akito. I have to act tough to maintain my usual self.
I hate my terrible personality.
“… I see. If that’s what you say, Renka, then let’s do it.”
Sena gave a cute smile and said,
“Okay ! Let’s leave the somber mood behind ! We’re going there, so let’s have fun to the fullest ! Right, Yuri?”
“Yeah, you’re right. Akito probably wants that too.”
Yuri said that and took out a pair of blue cat ears from his bag and put them on. They didn’t suit him at all.
The cat ears were a character-themed item from Windyland. …Yuri is surprisingly good at this kind of thing.
Somehow…thanks to Yuri, I felt a little more energetic.
I felt bad for Akito, but today I was going to enjoy Windyland. Akito probably felt the same way Yuri did, that he didn’t want us to worry about him.
After convincing myself of that, we passed through the station gates.
◇◇◇
A few hours later.
It was past 6 PM. As we got off the roller coaster and headed for the next attraction,
I was sighing for the umpteenth time today.
“…Haa. I wonder if Akito is okay…”
I’ve heard somewhere that sighing makes happiness escape.
If that’s true…then I might have let a lifetime’s worth of happiness slip away today.
“Come on, Renka ! Your face is getting dark again.”
Sena said that in a sulky voice.
“Ah… uh, yeah. Sorry…”
“Stop apologizing. Let’s just enjoy ourselves, okay?”
“…Yeah, you’re right. Sorry for being so gloomy…”
As I gave a faint smile, my gaze met Yuri’s.
He was eating an ice cream bar he had apparently bought without me noticing, his expression unchanged.
“Still, Renka is amazing. Even while riding the roller coaster, you were completely expressionless. I was worried you might have fainted.”
“Eh? Well, that’s…I was just thinking about something…”
“Thinking on a 360-degree roller coaster? You’re still a big shot, Renka.”
Yuri chuckled. I couldn’t tell if he was joking or not.
Then Hideki shrugged his shoulders and said,
“Renka. You’re worried about Akito, aren’t you?”
He looked me straight in the eye and said it clearly.
Faced with that serious gaze, I…
“…….Yeah. I’m sorry…”
I nodded.
I could only acknowledge Hideki’s words.
“No, there’s no need to apologize. We all know you love Akito. Right, Mommy Renka?”
“What…no, that’s not it ! Who would care about that stupid Akito…”
“Hey, hey. But Renka is so worried about that stupid Akito’s health that she can’t even enjoy the theme park. Right?”
…She hit the nail on the head. I couldn’t say anything.
Then, Sena smiled gently and said,
“Hey, Renka…I’m sorry for making you go along with my selfishness today.”
“…Eh?”
“I was really looking forward to today, so you held back your desire to visit Akito and came with me, right? But Renka, I had a lot of fun, so don’t worry, okay?”
“There, there” she said.
Sena’s warm hand stroked my hair.
“…But, Sena. Earlier, you said you absolutely wanted to see the parade afterward…”
“Well, Hideki and Yuri will do just fine! So, Renka, do whatever you want.”
Really…Sena and the others are so kind.
They’re completely different from me, who keeps being harsh to Akito.
(I want to be kind to Akito too…)
I always say harsh words to Akito. By doing so, I’ve hidden my true feelings behind a facade.
But…I’ve known all along that this isn’t right.
So now…I want to properly convey these feelings to Akito.
I’m sorry for always saying mean things, I want to tell him.
I actually know a lot of Akito’s good qualities, I want to tell him.
Then…maybe things will go back to the way they were before. Going to school together, eating lunch together, having study sessions.
Will that happy everyday life of mine come back?
“…Sena, Hideki, Yuri. Um…I’m sorry, I…”
“It’s okay. Go ahead, Renka !”
Encouraged by everyone’s kindness,
I felt like I could muster up the courage this time.
First, I want to take care of Akito. It’s already late, but…if his throat hurts badly, he might not be able to eat a proper meal. If that’s the case, I should make him some porridge or something.
And then…once Akito gets better.
I want to tell him how I really feel.
I want to properly apologize for everything that happened.
And I want to tell him—I want us to go back to the way we were before.
“…Sorry, everyone. I’m going to head home first…”
“Got it. Renka, take care of Akito.”
“Well, we’ll have fun on our own. See you later, Renka.”
“Renka, say hi to Akito for me. See you tomorrow at school !”
Yuri, Hideki, and Sena saw me off with smiles.
I returned their smiles and then immediately started running.
I wonder why, I thought.
I had spent the whole day playing at Windyland, and I should have been tired, but my body felt much lighter than before.
◆◆◆
Watching Renka run away,
Hideki glanced at Sena and said,
“Sena. Are you sure you’re okay not going? Because, you know, you really…”
“…It’s okay. You know, right? Akito kun’s crush.”
Sena smiled innocently.
She shook her beautiful black ponytail and said,
“I’m satisfied as long as I can play with Akito kun and the others. So Renka and Akito kun need to make up quickly. Don’t you think so?”
“…Well, I agree with that, but…”
“Enough ! Come on, both of you! Let’s go claim our spot! If we go home without watching the parade, there’s no point in coming to Windy !”
Sena turned around and started walking toward somewhere.
Hideki, on the other hand, exchanged glances with Yuri and could only sigh in exasperation.
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