Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/2912051603008595869
The morning after I promised to return the handkerchief I’d borrowed from Shirasaki, I washed it, folded it neatly, tucked it into the inner pocket of my bag, and left home at the usual time. At yesterday’s “Anemone” meeting, Himuro and the others had indirectly pressed me about the fact that I hadn’t ruled out the possibility of seeing Shirasaki as a romantic interest, but in the end, I still didn’t understand what the three of them were really after.
The only thing I knew for sure was that I could no longer ignore Shirasaki’s feelings. She had started to take notice of me this past spring, shortly after we started school—it hadn’t been that long, just a few years. Even so, I had no intention of dismissing her feelings—the way she’d memorized my casual remarks amid the unfamiliarity of high school life and had kept watching me from afar for months—as something trivial just because it hadn’t lasted long.
“Good morning, Kasugai-kun.”
As I approached the intersection near my house, Himuro, who had been standing beside a utility pole, stepped forward as if to cut through the cold morning air. She had waited for me at the same spot before, but back then she’d insisted on the flimsy excuse that she was just out for a walk. This morning, however, Himuro didn’t seem to have an excuse prepared; even when our eyes met, she didn’t look away.
“So this isn’t a coincidence today, is it?”
“Yes. I was waiting for you, Kasugai-kun.”
Her admission was so straightforward that, conversely, I found myself at a loss for how to react. Himuro held out a small paper bag in front of me and, as if to show he had no intention of backing down until I took it, kept holding it with both hands. Peering inside, I saw a transparent container filled with neatly arranged sandwiches—not just eggs and ham, but even the vegetables I’d previously been told I wasn’t eating enough of, all meticulously sandwiched in.
“You only had one sweet roll for lunch yesterday, didn’t you?”
“Were you watching me?”
“Since we’re in the same classroom, I couldn’t help but notice. Besides, if left to his own devices, Kasugai-kun tends to put himself last.”
“Did you make these, Himuro?”
“Yes.”
A faint blush—different from the morning glow—spread across Himuro’s cheeks as she gave her brief reply. There was no sign that she was inexperienced in cooking; the cuts and presentation were neat. Still, the fact that she’d gotten up early to prepare this for just one person gave it a weight different from the food served at a restaurant.
“Thanks. I’ll eat this for lunch.”
“Please let me know what you think.”
“Got it.”
“One by one, specifically.”
“Is this a dish being judged?”
“I need your feedback to improve it for next time.”
It seemed she was taking it for granted that there would be a next time. As I stowed the paper bag in my backpack, Himuro’s eyes softened with satisfaction, and she walked right up beside me. The old her would have insisted that we were merely heading in the same direction to school, but today, shortly after we started walking, she gently pinched the sleeve of my uniform with her fingertips.
“Himuro?”
“There are a lot of bikes in the morning; it’s dangerous.”
“But I’m walking on the inner side of the sidewalk.”
“Kasugai-kun, you’re not only lacking in your relationships with women, but also in your awareness of your surroundings.”
“Was the first part necessary?”
“It’s important.”
Himuro’s fingers were merely holding onto my sleeve; we weren’t actually holding hands. Even so, with every step I took, a subtle pressure was transmitted through my arm, making me feel her presence closer than usual. Precisely because it was a contact I could easily break if I wanted to, I realized she was choosing that distance of her own accord—and I found myself strangely conscious of it.
“About what we talked about yesterday…”
After walking for a while, Himuro spoke without turning to face me.
“You said there’s a possibility you might consider Shirasaki as a romantic prospect.”
“Yeah. I thought it would be rude to rule her out from the start when she’s showing interest in me.”
“That’s a decision typical of you, Kasugai.”
Despite her words of approval, she tightened her grip on his sleeve just a little.
“However, it’s not necessarily the case that Shirasaki is the only one who sees you, Kasugai, as a potential romantic partner.”
“Are we back to that again?”
“What do you mean, ‘again’?”
“When I mistakenly thought that Himuro and the others liked me, you all looked at me with utter exasperation, didn’t you?”
“No one said it was a misunderstanding.”
At Himuro’s words, I stopped in my tracks without thinking. She, too, came to a halt a few steps ahead of me and, without letting go of my sleeve, slowly turned to face me. Her long black hair swayed in the morning breeze, and the expression visible through it revealed both her usual perfect composure and a tension she couldn’t quite hide.
“Then what did you mean?”
“I meant I’d like you to figure it out for yourself.”
“That’s exactly why I’m asking.”
“If I simply gave you the answer, I’d just be putting myself on the same level as Shirazaki.”
Himuro lowered her gaze slightly, then, as if she’d made up her mind, took another step closer to me. We were so close that the tips of our shoes were almost touching, and I could almost feel her body heat through my uniform. Himuro let go of my sleeve, then placed her fingers on top of my palm and slowly intertwined them, as if checking for an escape route.
“It’s not because it’s dangerous today.”
“…Then why?”
“Because this is what I want to do.”
Her hand was cold, but her fingertips were trembling slightly. Himuro, who usually remained calm no matter how difficult the task at hand, was nervous just from holding my hand. The moment I realized that, my heart gave a huge leap.
“Did you mind?”
“I don’t mind, but—”
“In that case, please let’s stay like this until we get to school.”
“If anyone sees us, there’ll be more rumors.”
“I don’t mind.”
Himuro answered immediately and began walking while still holding my hand. If she went to school with me—the guy known as the “Enemy of Women” on campus—she might get dragged into unnecessary rumors herself. Even so, Himuro paid no attention to those around us, adjusting her stride to match mine with steps slightly shorter than usual.
As we neared the school, we saw more and more students in the same uniform. A few noticed our clasped hands and turned around in surprise, but Himuro never once tried to let go. In fact, every time we drew stares, she would intertwine our fingers again and press closer to my side, as if to show she was right there with me.
“Himuro, are you trying to one-up Shirasaki?”
“I won’t deny it.”
“So you’ll admit it, then.”
“Since being so roundabout meant Kasugai-kun didn’t get the message at all.”
Himuro puffed out her cheeks slightly, then looked up at me.
“So, from now on, I’ll close the distance in a way that’s easy to understand.”
“Is that something you’re declaring?”
“It’s necessary. Kasugai-kun won’t notice using ordinary methods.”
Just as we reached the school gate, Himuro finally let go of my hand. However, immediately afterward, pretending to adjust the cuff of her uniform, she touched my fingertips once more and slowly withdrew her hand, as if reluctant to let go.
“Don’t forget to tell me what you thought of lunch.”
“Oh, right.”
“Also, please walk by here at the same time tomorrow morning.”
“Sandwiches again?”
“That depends on your feedback.”
“So, just on the way to school?”
When I asked that, Himuro smiled slightly and folded her hands across her chest.
“Do I need a reason to hold your hand every single time?”
Leaving me at a loss for words, Himuro walked through the school gate ahead of me. Her back was as dignified as ever, but her ears were still red.
Unlike Shirasaki, Himuro doesn’t express her feelings in direct words.
Even so.
Even for someone like me, it seemed a bit of a stretch to dismiss everything—right down to this morning’s atmosphere—as simply being between two people who’d both just gone through a breakup.
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