Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16818093086929308998/episodes/16818093088102221003
★Koudo Akari (side)
–I collapsed on my bed at home.
“Haa, I haven’t been this tired in a long time……”
As I said this, I picked up my phone and looked at the words [Shindo Kei] in the contacts section.
Now that I think about it, this was the first time I exchanged contact information with a man outside of my family.
I’m not on bad terms with Sakai senpai, but we’re not close enough to exchange contact information.
“Ah ! Come to think of it, I haven’t told my brother yet……”
I remember he said he was going to stay at Sakai senpai’s house today with his friends.
I called him.
[Ah, Nii sa, are you free now?]
[Oh ! Akari ! What’s up?]
[Um….. actually today….]
When I was about to tell him what had just happened, he interrupted me.
[Ah ! ! That’s my item ! ! !]
[Erm……Nii san……]
[Oh, sorry Akkri, is it okay if we talk later?]
[Ah……yes, that’s fine.]
[Sorry, have a good night !]
[Yes. Good night…….]
…Well, from my brother’s point of view, I guess he thought it was just a casual phonecall as usual.
Now that I think about it, normally I would feel a little sad if something like this happened, but today, strangely, I don’t feel anything at all.
“Is it because of Shindo senpai or……”
I had never talked to Shindo senpai since he helped me that day….
“……Come to think of it, this was the second time that Shindo senpai saved me.”
The image I had of Shindo senpai until yesterday was that of someone who was only a good friend of Yui san’s and a senior in my mind.
Yui san seemed really happy when talking about Shindo senpai, so I thought he must be a nice person, but that’s about it.
I was not interested in getting along with men because of my personality, so that was the extent of my image of him.
“But even so, Shindo senpai’s hands were big…….”
I suddenly recalled the time when Shindo senpai was caressing me, and I was whispering, and at the same time, my heart was pounding.
Besides, if someone saw me like that, I’d be embarrassed even if it was my brother, but I don’t have that feelings for Shindo senpai.
No…it’s not that it doesn’t exist, but I think it would be more accurate to say that it was erased by Shindo senpai’s concern and sense of security.
While thinking about this, I looked back at the screen of my smartphone, which displayed the name Shindo Kei.
“Right…..I already thanked him for today,…..but I think I should at least do it once more……”
I thought so and called Shindo senpai.
[Thank you so much for today, Shindo senpai.]
[Well, I’m glad that Akari is okay, and don’t worry about it.]
[Well,……if you say so, I’ll do that.]
I’m a little nervous, but I’m glad it’s better than I thought.
[Yeah, that’s fine. Did you tell your brother?]
[No, I haven’t told him. He said he was gonna stay at Sakai senpai’s house since he has the day off from school tomorrow.]
[Well……have you contacted your brother about today?]
[Erm, yes,……actually, I called him, but he hung up on me right away saying he was playing games with his friends right now.]
After a short pause when I said that, Shindo senpai said.
[Erm? Are you okay? Um….your mental?]
Shindo senpai asked me cautiously.
Just by listening to the way he spoke and the tone of his voice, I could tell that he was genuinely worried.
[Are you worried, Shindo senpai?]
[Eh? Worried?]
[Yeah. I’m totally fine, you know? It’s true that I was very scared at that moment, but.]
I shudder to think if Shindo senpai wasn’t there, but as it turns out, Shindo senpai saved me, so I’m fine.
Besides, fear and anxiety. I’m okay with that because Shindo senpai erased those feelings…….
I don’t want Shindo senpai to worry.
[I see, then I can rest assured.]
[Well, that’s why you don’t have to worry about it, Shindo senpai ! ….Then I’m gonna sleep now.]
[Yeah. Good night Akari]
[Oh……good night……]
I was embarrassed to say goodnight, so I bit my tongue a little, but that made me even more embarrassed and I hung up the phone.
“Haa.”
It’s not like me at all……If it had been me yesterday, I wouldn’t have been this out of control of my emotions……
I’ve never been this nervous about talking to a man before, not even Sakai senpai or my brother.
Huh? Come to think of it, have I ever been this nervous with my brother?
I took it for granted that I was with my brother and would continue to do so.
I heard my friends in middle school talking about love, and they said that wanting to be together was love, so I thought I was in love with my brother, but…..
“Hm? Love……”
Oh, I remember the other girls also said that the bigger the thrill and sense of security, the more the love is……
I honestly don’t know who I’d rather be with, my brother or Shindo Senpai,……but as far as that goes, my brother who has been with me for many years now might be a little better.
Still, there is no doubt that the excitement and sense of security that I felt with Shindo senpai are far superior……or rather, it’s the first time I’ve felt that way about a man.
“Maybe I’m…..”
When I thought about that, my heart started pounding even more.
Did I not have romantic feelings for my brother……
Even I, with my low love deviation, can somehow understand this.
If this feeling is not love, it is definitely a disease or something.
I’m honestly confused by my first feelings.
“I should talk to Yui san and Mitsuki san about it.”
But now that I think about it, I have never done anything like a love conversation.
I had heard about it, but I had never talked about it voluntarily, so I did not know where to start.
I have never done so with Yui san and Mitsuki san, with whom I can talk about anything.
Well, since the subject is the same, there is no way we can all talk about it.
“Ah ! Thinking about it, if they find out that my feelings for my brother weren’t love, they’ll be happy……”
……But if that happens, I guess I’ll have to tell them about Shindo senpai, too.
It’s a bit embarrassing, no, it’s quite embarrassing.
Also, if you think about it, there is a possibility that this is just a temporary feeling, similar to the suspension bridge effect.
“Haa, let’s see how things go a little more, talk to Shindo senpai and see what I can come up with……”
Yes, let’s do that…..tomorrow I’ll start talking to Shindo senpai……but how do I talk to him?
Since we are in different classes and grades, should I ask Yui san? But that would also be suspicious…
I could invite him to come over after school? But that would be a date…..
Thinking about it, my face turned red and I felt like my head was going to explode.
“Whew, now that I think about it, I don’t think I can come up with anything.”
I then calmly muttered to myself.
“Well, I’m tired, so I’ll go to bed early.”
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