Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16818093092067930254/episodes/16818093092466764007
I came to the aquarium and Hoshirobe and I were looking at the aquarium as it was flowing.
The reason I invited Hoshirobe this time was to know her motive. What is the reason why she can work so hard? What in the world is driving her? That’s all I wanted to know for some reason.
“Do you like aquariums, Sendo-kun?”
“Well, I like it. It makes me feel like I’m looking into a world I don’t know about. How about you?”
“I like it……. It makes me feel at home.”
We toured the area, interspersing conversations like this. The conversation began at a restaurant where we went for lunch because it was time to go.
“…Sendo-kun, you’re being weird, so I want you to listen to me about something.”
“That’s very rude. Well, I’ll listen.”
“Rude is the return for the other day. ……Ryudou-senpai, do you know?”
“Ryudou?…… Oh, that basketball club’s…”
Ryudo Yuta. A senior and captain of the basketball team. With him as the captain, our junior high school’s basketball club was rapidly growing.
He had excellent looks and his fresh face made him popular among girls at that time. The fact that his name came out of Hoshirobe’s mouth, well, it must be so.
“Is that what you mean?”
“Yeah. I like senpai.”
I probably looked weird at that moment. After all, the other party was a Tetsujin. I was sure that I would never think that “I love him” would come out of her mouth.
“So you’re saying that you like him, and you’re trying your best to get him to like you?”
“Yeah, well, I guess so. I’ve never liked anyone before. I don’t know what kind of appeal I should make.”
“Is that what you want to talk to me about?”
Hoshirobe shook her head as I continued to ask questions.
“There is also that,……, I don’t know if I like him or not.”
“Ha ……?”
Hoshirobe’s words stopped all functions of my brain.
The theory has collapsed. My brain wouldn’t understand it at all. No, I couldn’t understand it.
“…… Wait a minute. What do you mean? I’m a pretty smart guy, if I do say so myself. I’m also a top ranker in regular tests. But I still don’t understand it.”
“I’m aware that I’m saying things that nobody knows the reason for. I like ……, but. When it comes time to approach him, I only think about my own inferiority complex. I don’t want to be seen. I want to get close to him, but I don’t want him to get close to me. I like him, but I don’t like him. I don’t even know why I’m doing this.”
Hoshirobe’s surprisingly sweet, slightly adolescent scent was enough to make me feel mushy and horrible just listening to it. It was then that I first learned the horror of the unaware.
“Are you listening ……?’
“I’m listening. Scary listening. ……, you know, you’ve got it all wrong.”
“Misunderstood?”
“The reason you feel like you don’t want him to see you or stay away from you is because you’re thinking about senpai. What about other people?”
“I don’t feel anything……”
“Right? The reason you feel that way is because you’re thinking about your senpai. …… That is, it’s part of ‘liking’.”
Hoshirobe seemed somewhat convinced by my words, even though she was silent. She didn’t seem to have fully grasped it, though.
“If you really like him, you would think that way about senpai. If you’re worried, don’t worry. If you really like someone. That’s normal.”
“I see. This is normal. ……”
“Oh, yeah. If you are a little more sociable, you have a lot of potential. Don’t worry.”
“I see. I see. I’m normal, too.”
Hoshirobe’s mouth relaxed a little. I didn’t go into it too deeply, but I felt like I could catch a glimpse of her hardship there.
“I thought you were a strange person, but I’m glad I talked to you about it. Thank you.”
“The weird person is unnecessary, but I’ll take your thanks in stride.”
“…..By the way, why did Sendou-kun ask me why I’m trying so hard?”
Hoshirobe asked me with a look that said it was unfair for me to be the only one to answer. At this time, I felt somewhat uncomfortable answering directly, so I muddled my answer a bit.
“I’ve lost the reason for …… doing my best. So I wondered what the reason was for people to do their best. That’s why I asked.”
“You mean you’re looking for a reason to work hard? ……Sendou-kun, is there someone you like?”
“Well, there is someone I do.”
“Then, what about working hard for that person?”
“Uh…that might be a good idea.”
In this way, Hoshirobe and I gradually grew closer to each other and began to cooperate in love. My first love came true thanks in part to her. Although it was a distorted beginning, I had a good relationship with her somehow.
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