Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/822139844414118669/episodes/822139845947060736
――I had a dream that brought back memories.
It was back when I was still an apprentice maid.
Soft spring light streamed down from the sky, sparkling over the flower fields along the stream. Tiny white and pale purple flowers bloomed in profusion, swaying in the breeze and filling the air with a sweet fragrance.
It was a place within the duke’s domain that was exceptionally peaceful—a place where danger should have been nowhere to be found—.
“Lord Rai! Look at this! The scent is amazing!”
I held up the herbs I’d picked with both hands and called out to Lord Rai, who was standing a short distance away. Even though I was just an apprentice back then, I was still a maid. I was eager to be of service to Lord Rai, who had taken me in.
“Wow, the scent really is amazing…”
Lord Rai smiled at me, though he did wrinkle his nose a little.
“The way it clears my nose… I’m sure this is a very effective herb! The head maid taught me about it the other day!”
“Huh, you’ve already learned that much? You’re amazing, Liene. You really are studying hard.”
Lord Rai praised me with a smile.
Then he peered down at what I was holding.
“Did you leave the roots? If you pull them all out, we’ll be in trouble next year. …Um, I think a book said that’s important, too?”
“Yes! I left them all! We’ll be able to harvest plenty next year too!”
I snapped to attention with one hand and replied, “No problem!” Lord Rai gave me a big, beaming smile. Then he gave my head a light pat.
“Good girl, good girl. You really are a proper apprentice maid.”
“Hehe…”
That made me so happy, and I wanted to be even more helpful—
“I’ll go gather some more! There’s a patch of them along the riverbank!”
“Ah, wait a moment. That direction—”
Before he could finish speaking, I had already spun around and started running.
I wanted to be more useful. I wanted to be praised more. Driven solely by those feelings, I set foot toward the riverbank—without realizing that was a huge mistake.
The soil along the riverbank was more fragile than I’d expected.
It had been eroded by last night’s rain, and the edge had become slightly steep.
But I didn’t notice it at the time. I was giddy from being praised by Lord Rai, and with my mind set on earning even more praise, I’d let my guard down.
“……Huh?”
By the time I realized it, it was too late.
The sensation under my feet vanished in an instant, my body lurched forward, and my vision flipped upside down.
I saw the blue sky and the herbs I’d been holding close to my chest, and then the sparkling water’s surface spread out to fill my entire field of vision.
“――!!?”
A cold shock engulfed my whole body.
The river, swollen far beyond its usual level by the spring snowmelt, was deeper than I’d imagined.
“G-guh…!”
My feet couldn’t touch the bottom. The current was fast, and in the blink of an eye, I was swept away from the shore.
My maid uniform was soaked, making it hard to swim properly, and water was pouring into my mouth, making it impossible to breathe.
Just as I felt the distinct presence of “death,” my chest tightened, and tears began to spill over—that was when a loud splash reached my ears.
“Liene!”
The voice echoing in my ears was one I knew well.
It wasn’t his usual gentle tone. It was frantic, desperate, and strong. Lord Rai, cutting through the water’s surface and heading straight toward me, reached out his hand.
“Grab it!”
I stretched my arm out desperately toward that outstretched hand.
The moment our fingertips touched and intertwined, he pulled me toward him with all his might.
“It’ll be okay! Don’t let go, no matter what!”
Even though he was about to be swept away himself. Even though he’d nearly gone under the water countless times. Even so, the grip on my hand didn’t slacken even the slightest bit.
By the time we finally reached the shore, we were both gasping for breath.
We collapsed onto the mud and, for a while, could do nothing but breathe. My chest rose and fell so violently it hurt, and my throat felt like it was on fire.
My whole body was shaking. From the cold, the terror of falling into the water, and—
“I-it’s my fault…! Even Lord Rai was put in danger…!”
My voice broke, and my vision blurred.
I almost lost him again. Just like that time. That thought squeezed my chest, and I couldn’t stop the tears.
“……!”
At that moment, Lord Rai pulled me tightly into his arms.
His wet arms wrapped around me. Just that alone gave me a little peace of mind.
“……I’m so glad you’re safe.”
That was all he said.
I thought he was going to scold me.
I thought he was going to be angry.
After all, my carelessness had put him in danger.
But there wasn’t a single word of blame. Just that one phrase: “I’m so glad you’re safe.”
“……Uh!!”
My heart clenched tightly.
“……I’m sorry……”
A voice mixed with sobs escaped me involuntarily.
I let myself sob uncontrollably, clinging to his chest.
Even then, Rai-sama said nothing, just kept gently stroking my back.
Gently. Over and over…
That warmth was etched deep into my heart—
■
I jolted awake to find myself lying on the bed.
My cheeks felt damp, and the afterglow of the dream still lingered in my chest, leaving me with a slightly complicated mix of embarrassment and happiness.
As I slowly sat up, the blanket draped over me slipped off.
“……Huh?”
My gaze swept over the familiar dorm ceiling, the familiar furniture, and finally landed beside me.
The figure of him who should have been there—was nowhere to be found.
My outstretched fingertips touched the cold futon and stopped.
“……Rai-sama?”
I called out softly. But there was no reply.
Yesterday, he was definitely right next to me. Perhaps sensing my nervousness, he smiled and said, “It’s okay.” Just like on the day I transferred in, he welcomed me into his futon.
His body heat felt so comforting, and the way he stroked my head was so gentle.
I even remember falling asleep in his arms without realizing it.
…And yet, all that’s there now is a cold, empty void.
All I could feel on my fingertips was the coldness of the futon—not even a trace of his warmth remained.
“……!”
A bad feeling flashed through my mind, and I scanned the room once more.
The desk, the chair, inside the closet, and my bed. As my gaze swept across the room, I found what I was looking for at the edge of the desk.
I leapt out of bed and hurried over.
What I picked up was—Rai-sama’s pajamas.
It was definitely what he had been wearing last night.
Not a single wrinkle, folded with meticulous care.
“……!!!”
My throat made a sharp gulp.
The uniform that should have been there was gone.
Not on the back of the chair, nor inside the closet. I scanned the room again, but it was nowhere to be found.
“Lord Rai!?”
I shouted louder than before, but there was no reply from him.
This time, my heart thudded loudly.
Deep in my chest, a bad feeling rang out like a bell. This wasn’t just him waking up early. He wasn’t out for a walk either.
“…No way!”
The moment I remembered what today was, a chill ran down my spine.
Thinking that he might very well do such a thing, I turned my gaze outward—toward the Primordial Labyrinth.
The Abyss, as always, split the earth open, revealing the depths of the void.
Even in the morning light, it exuded an eerie presence; it seemed almost like a scar etched into the very fabric of the world.
“……You’re there, aren’t you?”
A feeling bordering on certainty pulsed deep within my chest.
That person is there. Alone, saying nothing, for everyone’s sake.
And—surely, for my sake and Lady Elisia’s.
[…I’m so glad you’re safe.]
The words from my dream came back to me clearly.
I love that person’s kindness—putting themselves last and acting to help others.
Stronger than anyone, kinder than anyone—my proud master.
“……”
But that kindness is sometimes cruel.
To shoulder everything alone just to protect everyone.
To try to find peace of mind by leaving me behind.
(……That’s just too selfish.)
My throat tightens. My vision blurs.
Just a moment ago, my chest was still warm with the afterglow of a dream, but now it’s cold and aching.
The Primordial Labyrinth is a place that takes lives.
It smells just like the place where I lost everything that day.
Deep inside my chest, something stirs violently.
To be honest, I’m scared. But more than that—
“I hate it even more when you’re not here.”
I don’t want to just be protected.
If it means being left behind, I’d rather choose to be hurt.
Even if I’m a crybaby, even if I’m scared—
“By your side is where I belong.”
I won’t give that up to anyone.
No matter where you go, no matter what you have to bear.
“I won’t let you be alone.”
I give a small smile.
With traces of tears still lingering.
“I love you. …Everything about you.”
—As long as you’re there, even at the bottom of the abyss, I can still smile.
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