Episode 16 – commitment

Well, I wonder what confession is like in the real world. I’ve never had a girl who ended up developing into a girlfriend either. …..Well, we did what we had to do, so it was more like a relationship.

“Sorry to keep you waiting, Hatoyama kun.”

Ah, here comes the person who finished the confession event. I wanted to ask her the details, but I didn’t think it was a good idea for me to dig into the details.

“It was pretty fast, wasn’t it?”

If you subtract the time it took to move from the classroom to the back of the gym, and from the back of the gym to the school gate, it probably took less than three minutes to respond to the confession, didn’t it?　I’m sure Takahashi-kun also withdrew quite easily.

“Yes, he didn’t seem to be serious either”

…… it was an acceptable score, right? Well, I’ll give him a compliment anyway. It takes a lot of courage even for a normal person to reject a confession, and even more so for the shy Amamiya san.

“It’s great that you were able to properly decline.”

“Kya!”

Oh! I did it again. ……

Sorry, girls don’t like to be petted on the head.

I think Amamiya-san is a little animal, so I tend to treat her like a little sister. I don’t have a sister.

Anyway ……huh

“Amamiya san? What? hand is ……”

She’s gripping my hand gingerly and pressing it against her own head, does this mean she wants me to stroke it more?　I thought you don’t like being stroked because it ruins your hair.　No, maybe she has straight hair and doesn’t have the concept that it’s going to fall apart or something.

“I think it depends on who I’m talking to if I don’t like being stroked, right?”

That may be true, but I’m not the one you like?

“….. What if this was Takahashi kun?”

“I might reflexively kick him in the knee.”

Why would you go for the kill?　That reflex is a counter reflex, not a conditioned reflex, right?　It’s a counterattack, right?

“I mean, normally you’d probably just brush your hands off or turn your body away.”

“When you feel fear or disgust, you don’t have time to think about the other person.”

She’s disgusted with you, Takahashi. …… I’m glad you’re not disgusted with me, you almost kneecapped me.

“I thought about it the other day, but Amamiya san has a little bit of aggression in her right?”

“My mom is very strict, so I was taught to fight back when I feel like I’m being bullied.”

What can I say about that? …… I don’t want to speak ill of people’s parents, but I would say that they are a bit prehistoric, or unmindful

I understand that there are as many educational policies as there are families.

“Doesn’t that mean you should be strong-willed? If you mope around, you’ll get bullied even more, so you should be assertive…”

“That may be true, but it also means that if something happens, it’s okay to use force.”

Is your mother a yanmama or a fighter?

“I see. I won’t ask too much ……. Can you take your hands off me for now?”

I’ve been forced to put my hand on Amamiya san’s head for the entire conversation, and it’s a bizarre sight. From a third party’s point of view, it looks like I am reading Amamiya’s memories.

“Because if I let go…. you wouldn’t stroke me, would you?”

“If you want me to pet you, I’ll pet you as much as you want. I’ll pet you anytime you want.”

It’s not like it’s going to decrease.

“Eh, that’s …….”

“Yes, that’s exactly what it means.”

“……moou.”

Oh, you finally let go of my hand. I don’t know what “moo” means, but I’m sure it’s something to do with the fact that she’s already satisfied.

“So, are we going home soon?”

It’s a little late for that, but we’re still at the school gate. I’m sure they don’t check every single surveillance camera, but I don’t think it’s a good idea …… to make out in a place like this.

“……umm…… it’s time to go, right?”

What’s with the hand?　Is it a handshake?　Or is it …….

“I don’t think so, but are you suggesting we hold hands and go home?”

“No……?”

Ugh… I can’t refuse when you look at me with teary eyes like that. To be honest, I’d rather not ask, because I’m afraid some weird rumor might start.

“I’m fine with it, but Amamiya, are you fine with it?　There’s a chance there will be rumors that you’re dating me or something, right?”

“……? Yeah, it’s fine…..?”

Hey, am I crazy?　I’ve been using question marks much more frequently since I started getting involved with Amamiya san. I wonder if me and Amamiya san are incompatible. Our thought processes are too different, or something.

Ah, so that’s how it is!　So you don’t like it when other boys confess their feelings for you, so it’s more convenient for rumors to spread that you’re dating me.

Well, what do you think about that?　It’s totally fine if it’s just a temporary cooperation, but to keep doing it all the time. ……

“Well, I’ll hold it then?”

“Oh …… big …….”

There’s no need to make such an ecstatic expression just because I held your hand…

“Your hands are small and cute, Amamiya-san. And they’re soft.”

“…… is that because they’re a girl’s hands?”

“No, it’s because they are Amamiya san’s hands.”

I’ve touched a lot of girls’ hands, but Amamiya’s is by far the smallest. Not that small is necessarily a good thing, though.

“…You know, actually, this is the first time I’ve held a boy’s hand since the folk dance at the sports festival.”

I don’t feel “actually” at all, but I’m not so non-delicate that I would say that.

“I see. I hold hands more or less. ……”

“Ha?”

Ouch!? Why did you suddenly increase your strength? It’s not much of a grip, but it hurt a lot because it was so unexpected.

“Why do you look so scary? Your pretty face is ruined……”

“Don’t fool around.”

The pressure was …… great. I’m not trying to fool you.

“No, I’m just saying that you look genuinely cute……”

“…..”

“Of course that expression is cute too, though, right?”

“Hmph,…….”

She doesn’t seem completely opposed, but turns her face away. She’s really cute, and would be even cuter if she wasn’t carrying that mysterious pressure.

“Hatoyama-kun, I don’t dwell too much on the past… so you don’t have to worry.”

“Eh, yes. ……”

Now if only the lack of words could be fixed. I’m not sure if it’s the lack of context, or the self-containment, or the assumption that we’re communicating.

“But I’m all about the future, okay?”

“I see. ……”

Isn’t that true for everyone? We can give up on the past, but we want the best possible future.

“I’ll be the last girl to hold hands with you, okay?”

……What does that mean? Why should I put an end to my female history with Amamiya san?　It doesn’t matter who or what I do, it has nothing to do with Amamiya san.

Do you really want to avoid a confession to that extent?　Well, if she thinks she’s starting to realize how cute she is, I guess that’s a good change.

“I can’t promise, but I’ll be careful.”

“Promise me …….”

Ouch, ouch, ouch!　Don’t put pressure on the muscle between my thumb and index finger!　You’re damaging a weird pressure point!

“I-I don’t care who I’m with ……”

“Hmm?”

“Ouchh! No fingernails!””

Ouch! She started fingernail-pushing my fingernails with her fingernails!　
That was a big thing in elementary school, that bullying!

“Promise me something, then? you won’t touch anyone.”

It’s not nice to use violence as a backdrop for negotiations, but I’m willing to accept these conditions.

“Oh, yes, I can promise you that. I promise.”

Because I wouldn’t do that. Well, well, I have a few girls I’m close to, and I’ve had it a few times, but …… that’s not a problem, right?　And it’s not like she cares

If anything, I’m more concerned about the intent of making me make this commitment. What’s the harm in me extending a friendship?

“Thank you. Don’t ever betray me.”

“Hahaha, I don’t know if I can say it myself, but I’m the kind of person who can’t betray people.”

“….I see.”

What is this feeling that I’ve done something wrong …… and dug my grave ……?

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