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Even by morning, I still hadn’t heard back from Rino.
Rino wasn’t in front of her house or at the corner of her route to school. I’d be lying if I said my heart didn’t ache at all. But I felt that if I reached out to her right then, things would just go back to the way they were before.
I headed to school with Shiori.
That morning, Mikoto was unusually quiet. Up until yesterday, she would have come over to my desk in a lighthearted mood and started talking about Sano or the boys in our class. But today, she just glanced my way a few times before quickly returning to her conversation with her friends.
If nothing’s wrong, then that’s fine.
I thought that—until lunchtime.
Just as I was about to head to the courtyard with Shiori, carrying my lunch box, Mikoto was waiting for me in the hallway. Her loosely curled hair was neatly styled as usual, and her smile was gentle. But she had no friends around her. I realized she’d chosen that spot specifically to stop me alone.
“Segawa-kun, can I talk to you for a moment? It’ll only take five minutes.”
Shiori stopped beside me. Mikoto smiled at Shiori too, but there was a certain forced stiffness to that smile.
“Miyahara-san, I’m sorry. I need to talk to Segawa-kun for a moment. I’ll send him right back.”
The way she said “send you right back” caught my attention.
I’m not an object. Mikoto probably didn’t mean it that way either. But in her mind, borrowing a little of my time still feels like the most natural thing in the world.
“If it’s something we can talk about here, I’ll listen.”
Mikoto’s eyebrows twitched slightly.
“It might be hard to talk about here. It’s a bit complicated—it’s about Sano-kun. I’d really like to talk to you just the two of us, if possible. Like we used to, on the stairs leading to the rooftop or something.”
“Just the two of us?”
“Yeah. We’re friends, right? Isn’t that normal? It’s not like we’re going to do anything weird or anything.”
Mikoto smiled sheepishly. It was a face that made it hard to refuse. The old me would have given in to that look. Mikoto isn’t a bad person. When she confided in me, I felt like she was counting on me. It’s true that I was a little happy to know there was something only I knew about.
But after that happiness, a strange emptiness always lingered.
Confidences about maybe liking another guy. Stories about being worried she might get confessed to. The preface that “I wouldn’t misinterpret it if it were me.” And finally, the label of “the best friend” tacked on at the end.
I just couldn’t take that as mere friendship anymore.
“I’m sorry, but I won’t talk about this just between the two of us.”
Mikoto’s smile faded.
“…Is it because Miyahara-san would mind?”
“Shiori didn’t say anything. I’m the one who doesn’t want to.”
Mikoto immediately looked at Shiori. Shiori narrowed her eyes slightly but didn’t say a word. She was leaving it up to me. I appreciated that silence all the more.
“But you know, if even you, Segawa-kun, starts saying things like that, won’t we really end up unable to talk at all? I think it’s a bit extreme to say that once you have a girlfriend, you can’t even talk one-on-one with your female friends.”
“It’s not that I can’t talk to my female friends. It’s just that when Mikoto calls me over, it’s usually to ask for relationship advice about other guys, right? I don’t want to listen to that alone with her without saying anything to my girlfriend.”
“‘Without saying anything’—do I have to go out of my way to report it? Doesn’t that feel suffocating, like you’re being controlled by Miyahara-san?”
For the first time, a sharp edge crept into Mikoto’s voice.
That’s when I got a little angry. Shiori isn’t holding me back. If anything, she’s waiting for me to make my own decision. Yet Mikoto is trying to pin the reason I’m not doing things her way on Shiori.
“Don’t talk trash about Shiori.”
Mikoto gasped.
“I didn’t mean to—”
“That’s how it sounded. Don’t blame Shiori just because I turned you down.”
The air in the hallway seemed to freeze for a moment. A student passing by glanced our way. Mikoto noticed the stares and tried to compose herself, but she wasn’t quite succeeding.
“…Segawa-kun, you never used to talk like that before.”
“I just didn’t say it before.”
I readjusted the bag holding my lunch.
“If we’re friends, you wouldn’t keep a distance that makes someone anxious. If we’re friends, you wouldn’t blame when I turned you down. If you want to talk, talk to Shiori first, then ask me during lunch break in a place where other people are around. If you don’t like that, talk to someone else.”
The usual brightness faded from Mikoto’s face.
She was angry, yet she couldn’t bring herself to be angry. She looked like she was about to cry, yet couldn’t even find a reason to. That’s the kind of expression she had. She had always kept me in a safe place called “friend.” But the moment I won her over, that place no longer existed on its own.
“……I trusted you, Segawa-kun.”
“I also think of you as a friend, Mikoto. But just because we’re friends doesn’t mean I can prioritize everything about you.”
Mikoto fell silent.
Shiori didn’t break that silence. We turned our backs on Mikoto and headed toward the courtyard. Just before we turned the corner in the hallway, I knew—without even looking back—that Mikoto was watching us.
As we sat down on a bench in the courtyard, Shiori said quietly before opening her lunchbox.
“You didn’t blame me, did you?”
“It’s not your fault, Shiori.”
“Yeah. Thanks.”
That “thanks” carried more weight than I’d expected.
Every time I turn someone down, I feel like I’m losing a little something. Mornings with my childhood friend, and talking things over with Mikoto—these were things I’d always taken for granted. But if protecting them means making Shiori anxious, then I can’t choose those “givens” anymore.
The lunchtime breeze rustled the trees in the courtyard.
As I opened my lunchbox, I recalled the look on Mikoto’s face from earlier. She probably didn’t want me to be her boyfriend. But I think she just wanted to be the one person I could talk to about anything.
That dynamic can’t stay the same as it was before.
I picked up my chopsticks next to Shiori. Today’s lunch break wasn’t for giving someone relationship advice—it was time to eat with her.
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