Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16817330668994179192/episodes/16818023211962483664
I always spend my summer vacation, which lasts more than a month every year, by going home to my grandparents’ house on my father’s side.
This year, I went back to my grandparents’ house again, and I thought about Eita san every day, and there was already one week left of my summer vacation.
“Oh why did I do that to him !? gave him the engagement ring–no, I pushed him and said some unnecessary things. Isn’t that too crazy !?”
I was rolling right and left on the tatami mats, uttering such lines as I do every day.
It was only at first that I was concerned about the cold look in my father’s eyes as he walked through the hallway next to the room I was in, but now I don’t care about anything anymore.
I regretted my crazy comments and actions to Eita san so much that I could not afford to be concerned about my father.
For Eita san, who is being treated unfairly at school because Sumika san made up lies, being told by me that [I’m here] would not encourage him in any way, and even if he were encouraged, it would not solve his problem fundamentally.
In fact, he may have been made to wonder what was wrong with what I was saying, and I may have been thought of as a troublesome woman.
I wonder why I couldn’t be more calm at that time…
All I had to do was comfort him with something like, [I’m always available for advice.]……
It was fortunate that the timing of the crazy comments and crazy actions happened to be just before summer vacation, when I was going back to my grandparents’ house.
After saying those words, I don’t think it would be possible for me to see Eita san during the summer vacation.
In a romance manga, Eita san and I might end up going back to my grandparents’ house together, but I’m really glad that didn’t happen.
…Well, even though I say that, I do feel lonely not being able to see Eita san for over a month.
It is the daily messages with Eita san that distracts me from such loneliness.
I must be thankful for the modern tools that allow us to stay connected even when we are far away.
“…..I wonder what Eita- an thought about it. I wonder if he thought I was a strange person after all…… No, but the atmosphere on LINE was the same as usual…….”
On LINE, we can only get a sense of the thoughts behind the words in the text, so there is a possibility that we have interpreted them incorrectly, but so far there is nothing strange about the content of messages with Eita san.
If we are having such a normal conversation, it is possible that Eita san does not care much about the actions I have taken.
……Well, right now I have to assume that Eita san doesn’t care about what I say and do.
Summer vacation is coming to an end soon, so I have to make up my mind and get back to Eita san as soon as possible.
…….
–I can’t do it after all ! Eita san definitely thinks I’m a creepy woman, doesn’t he !? He definitely thinks I’m an annoying woman, doesn’t he !? He definitely doesn’t want to get involved with me again, doesn’t he !?
I gave him the engagement ring and she said, [Please give it to me someday] Oh my god, I’m such an idiot ! ! ! !
Why do I try to think positively but end up thinking negatively like this……
……No, but when I think about Eita san’s feelings, I’m not qualified to be worried about this kind of thing.
The biggest problem for Eita san is not that I’m a disgusting and troublesome woman, but that he’s being treated unfairly at school because of the spread of baseless rumors.
If I’m forever regretting the actions I have taken, Eita san will find it difficult to talk to me about his problems, and I have to think about how to solve his problems and how to support him when he returns to school after the vacation.
Okay, so much for regrets.
Eita san saved my life, and I have an obligation to support Eita san.
Besides, I even gave Eita san my precious engagement ring and decided to support him.
I made this decision not to repay Eita san for saving my life, but because I’m attracted to Eita san’s humanity and I love him.
Therefore, I must save Eita san at any cost.
When I was thinking about this, the fact that I was being bullied at school disappeared from my mind.
Even though I said that I would support Eita san, in the end, I need Eita san to be there for me and support me.
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I wonder if she will go yandere if Eita somehow falls in love with someone else? I know it won’t go there, but think about it kek.
Thanks!