Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/1177354054894733613/episodes/1177354054895659358
Indeed, I always wear T-shirts and jeans, and unlike my brother, I am not particular about or interested in my clothes, nor do I consider myself to have any sense of fashion. Today, as usual, I am wearing a dark blue T-shirt and black jeans. There is nothing different about me. I don’t blame her if she thinks I should dress differently once in a while. But still… No bathrobe!
What is this? Why the bathrobe? Why are you crying!
Are you crying because I’m not wearing a bathrobe? Did I say something …… that made you expect a bathrobe? I don’t remember …… but either way, I don’t get it. So much for the crying? You even sobbed bitterly and hugged …… me–you know, even hugged me.
It’s my first time ……. I can’t believe I got hugged by Honami.
I felt her hands on my back, clutching my T-shirt as if she was squeezing me. With all her strength, she held me close to her body, and I could clearly feel …… Honami’s touch. It was soft and warm and …… and then I felt something soft and fuzzy against my body. You don’t have to look to know what it is. It just floated in my mind. The glimpse of cleavage peeking out from the sloppily loose T-shirt’s chest – even though I tried not to look at it, the image was clearly burned into my mind.
Many times, I imagined the feeling and writhed between elation and immorality.
It still …… seems so.
I wish this were all a dream. Then we could continue. I could hold her as tight as I could, and let my impulses take control of the body that now fits so comfortably in my chest. I can touch those irritating yet adorable lips that are always spewing venom, and I can pour out the desire I’ve been storing up for so long into that body that’s left to me unprotected. If this is a dream, …… I can take away everything I have only been able to imagine until now – Honami.
But the heat that rises from the depths of my gut is so raw that it’s almost vain. It was as if it was reminding me that this was real. It was like being caught in a stormy wave of excitement and guilt.
At that moment
“I had a scary dream……”
I heard Honami mumble in a muffled voice as she buried her face in my chest.
“Ha……?” A fond voice leaks out. “A scary dream ……?”
“I dreamed that Kouki was …… wearing a bathrobe and …… going away.”
“Eh……”
I was staggered.
What is it? A dream where I’m wearing a bathrobe and going somewhere? What kind of dream is that? In her mind, do I have such a critical fashion sense? Is that why she came crying to me?
It was as if I was suddenly launched from the raging sea onto a deserted island. There was such a wretched sense of calmness.
A wry smile escaped my lips.
The heat had gone from her body, and she had regained her composure at once.
What a fellow, I thought to myself in dismay. I am stunned, but I also think …… that she is lovable.
“I’m not wearing a bathrobe.”
I said and gently stroked her head.
The hair, which was probably the first time I had touched it since I can remember, felt much smoother and softer than I had imagined. That alone sent a shiver down my spine.
Ah, I knew I couldn’t do this.
If I hold on to her, it will be the end. I won’t be able to stop. The hoop will be blown off.
“Are you sure ……?” And Honami moved restlessly in his chest, “Can I have it, ……?”
“Can you have it ?!…No, …… it’s more difficult to wear a bathrobe or something that was given to you, isn’t it? I don’t know. ……”
“You won’t go anywhere….?”
It was a weak voice that did not sound like Honami’s, as if it lacked any high spirits or even life.
It was something that pressed hard on my heart.
“I ain’t going nowhere ……,” my strained voice leaked out with a hot exhale. “I won’t go out in my bathrobe. I promise. –It’s all right.”
I could literally feel the relief in Honami’s skin as I felt the strength drain out of her body.
I don’t know what kind of bathrobe I wore or what I did in the dream, but I was relieved to see Honami stop crying ……, but at the same time, I was feeling anxious.
I had never seen Honami like this – I had never seen her so vulnerable before.
I couldn’t help but wonder what would happen to Honami if she found out that my brother had a girlfriend …….
I bet it’s not like this. It’s a broken heart ……. And it’s my brother. She can’t even come crying to me. I wonder if she will cry alone somewhere …….
Just imagining it makes me feel like I’m being torn apart. I feel a surge of frustration.
I wouldn’t be able to help but think …….
I wouldn’t have made her cry. I wouldn’t do anything to make Honami sad. Bathrobe or no bathrobe, I would never have to wear it. I won’t go anywhere. I will always stay by Honami’s side. I won’t even let her get her heart broken… I suddenly thought of this and had a flash of realization.
At that moment, everything that had been shrouding my head like a dark cloud seemed to blow away at once.
My brother’s words were echoing in my head, which seemed to have cleared up. I finally understood what he meant when he said, “If you feel sorry for Honami, you should do something about it yourself.”
That’s right. I should not make Honami “heartbroken”.
–All I have to do is make Honami happy.
The inside of my chest, which had always been raging with conflict, calmed down like a calm.
Something that had been stuck in my throat for a long time seemed to have been removed. The breathlessness I had been feeling disappeared, and the voice calling out “Honami” came out with a pleasant ease.
“I need to talk to you.”
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