Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16818093089077215540/episodes/16818093090774161959
“It’s done. Amane san.”
“Thank you. I’m sorry for bothering you.”
“I’ve told you many times that it’s not a bother. Besides, if it’s a bother, I’m the one who causes it a lot more.”
The place I’m currently living in is also a room lent by Amane san.
Well, even if I say this, Amane san can clearly see that it’s not like that, so I won’t say it.
“That’s true.”
“You’re gonna affirm that?”
I never thought that she would affirm what I said.
But I can’t deny it.
“Because it’s true. Fufu, I never get tired of talking to you.”
“Come on, don’t be silly, eat your porridge. Do you have any over-the-counter drugs?”
“Yes. I have some. There are some pills in the bottom shelf in the living room.”
“Okay. I’ll go get them later.”
I never get tired of talking to you, huh.
I wonder what that means.
“Thank you. I’ll have some then.”
“Here you go. I don’t know if it tastes good or not.”
I don’t think it tastes bad.
It’s just porridge.
“It’s delicious.”
“I’m glad. But I don’t think there’s such a thing as good or bad porridge.”
Most small porridge can be made to a reasonable quality if it is made in a normal way.
The only people who fail are the ones who want to add their own secret flavor to it.
“I think that’s true. Up until now, I’ve never had anyone to take care of me when I have a cold.”
Amane san’s eyes were downcast, looking a little sad.
I’m sure something must have happened in the past.
I’m curious about it, but I don’t know if it’s an area I can easily step into.
She is a high school student living alone, so her family environment must be complicated.
Her parents seem to be overseas.
“You can always rely on me. There may not be much I can do, but I will definitely be your ally.”
“You’re a little unreliable.”
It’s painful to be told that.
Amane san was giggling, so I think it was a joke.
No, I want to believe she is joking.
“But still, I will definitely be on your side.”
“Thank you. I’ve never heard anyone say that to me before.”
“Then I’m glad.”
◇
“Thanks for the meal.”
“Thank you very much.”
She seemed to have a good appetite and ate the small amount of porridge I had prepared without leaving any leftovers.
If you eat this much, you’ll recover quickly.
“Then, I’ll go get some medicine.”
“Please do.”
I left Amane san’s room and went to the living room to get the medicine.
After all, Amane-san’s room is well organized～I thought as I opened the shelves.
She had put all the medicines together in boxes and labeled them well.
“For a cold, I think.”
I opened the labeled box and found a box of over-the-counter cold medicine that even I had seen before.
Okay, if I scavenge too much and make a mess, it won’t be good, so let’s bring this quickly.
“Here are your pills.”
“Thank you.”
I offered her the medicine along with a glass of water.
Amane san immediately took the medicine and breathed a sigh of relief.
“I’m gonna stay in the living room. If I’m here, you won’t be able to get a good sleep. Call me if you need anything.”
“Wait a minute.”
I got up and was about to leave the room when she grabbed me by the sleeve of my arm.
I looked at her face and he looked very worried.
“What’s wrong?”
“Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
I was a little confused by Amane san’s unusual appearance, but I quickly changed my mind and listened to her request.
“Would you mind holding my hand until I fall asleep?”
I was a little taken aback because I had never imagined Amane san would say something like this.
In the meantime, Amane san’s face became distorted with grief, as if she took my silence as a rejection.
“Of course it’s okay. You can hold my hand if you like.”
I turned around, sat down by the bed, and held out my right hand.
Amane san immediately shook my hand.
It was about one size smaller and softer than my hand.
“Thanks. It really calms me down.”
“I’m glad.”
“You won’t ask why?”
Amane san quietly spoke to me while holding my hand.
“What do you mean?”
It’s not that I don’t have an idea.
“It’s about my past. You’re curious about it, aren’t you?”
“Well…”
Bingo.
Ever since I heard that Amane san had taken revenge in the past, I had been curious about it.
But at the same time, I thought I shouldn’t ask.
I think all revenge is painful.
Whether it succeeds or fails, no one will be happy.
Even if she succeeds, it will always be a bitter memory.
That’s why I thought I shouldn’t ask.
“Then why don’t you ask me?”
“Because I don’t even know if it’s okay for me to ask. Besides, it’s not something I should force myself to ask, is it?
“I think it’s human nature to ask even so.”
“I don’t see the point in asking that, because it won’t change anything. I don’t hate or despise Amane san just because she took revenge. That’s why I don’t think it’s worth going to the trouble of digging up the painful past to ask her about it.”
I have no intention of arrogantly saying that I understand what kind of person Amane san is.
But no matter what she did, it doesn’t change the fact that Amane san saved my life.
That’s why I haven’t asked her until now and I don’t intend to ask her in the future.
“Is that your way of saying that you care?”
“It’s not that big of a deal. It’s a natural human thing to do.”
“If that were normal for people, most people would end up not being able to take it for granted.”
“Is that so?”
“Isn’t this something that everyone does normally?”
“Yeah. Come to think of it, you’re a kind person.”
Amane san murmured while holding my head with her hand.
This reaction is probably shocking.
”Why did you bring it up out of the blue?”
I don’t think this is the kind of talk you should be having when you are in bed like this.
If you talk about dark things when you are not feeling well, it could make you feel even worse.
“I wonder why. Just maybe because I wanted Sora to hear me.”
Amane san laughed bitterly, as if she didn’t know herself.
I guess she really doesn’t understand.
She had a very puzzled look on her face.
“I see. Then, let me hear it.”
“Please do so.”
Then Amane san began to talk quietly as she lay on the bed.
◇
“As you may have heard, my parents are the presidents of a certain company. Because of this, my parents have been overseas for a long time, and when I was still little, I lived with my housekeeper. Of course, she was a housekeeper, so she would leave when it was time to go home, and there were days when she didn’t come at all.”
Amane san began her story with a distant look in her eyes, as if thinking back to the distant past.
Her expression was not sad but rather nostalgic for the past.
“I didn’t fit in at school and didn’t make many friends in elementary school. But when I entered junior high school, I made my first friend. I was always alone, and she would call out to me and invite me out to play with her.”
“She was a good friend.”
“She was. Even now, I don’t think I will ever have a friend who can surpass her.”
She could probably be called a close friend.
I can tell just by looking at Amane san’s gentle face.
I could see how important that friend was to her.
“By the time I was in eighth grade, I was always with that girl. We had lunch together, and we went to class together. Even when we were leaving, I remember spending time with her.”
She had a really kind look in her eyes.
She was talking about her as if she was seeing her for the first time in all the time they had spent together.
“But you know, the people at school didn’t seem to like her.”
“Why don’t they like her? I think she’s a pretty nice girl from what I’ve heard.”
So far, there is no reason for the girl to be disregarded.
I could not understand how they could be so dismissive of such a kind and caring girl who would spend time with a girl who was all alone.
“I know. But in junior high, I only got involved with that girl.. That probably wasn’t a good thing. After the summer break of my eighth grade year, that girl started getting bullied. Without my knowledge.”
“…”
Amane san is cute.
And she is the president’s daughter.
There is no harm in being friendly with her.
For those who think so, Amane san’s friends may have been an obstacle.
“I didn’t realize it at all at the time. There’s really nothing I can do about it.”
She mumbled to herself with her eyes downcast.
“….”
That’s not true. It’s easy to say that.
But I knew it wouldn’t make her feel any better.
So I kept my mouth shut.
“One year later, during the summer vacation. That girl, Sorane, committed suicide. Because of me, because she got involved with me, she died. It’s as if I killed her.”
Her voice was trembling.
Tears were streaming from Amane san’s eyes and her grip on my hand was tightening.
“It wasn’t Amane san’s fault.”
Amane san is not to blame.
The one who is to blame is the abuser.
Amane san and Sorane san are both victims.
“No, it’s me who is to blame. When Sorane was being bullied, I was living in a state of indolence, unaware of such a thing. I couldn’t repay her any favors.”
“Amane san is still not to blame.”
It’s impossible to notice everything.
There are some things that people can’t express in words, but it is more normal not to notice that someone is being bullied because of the slightest change.
“After that, I became afraid to get involved with people. I couldn’t stand the thought of people dying because of me again. So after high school, I didn’t have any friends and turned down all the confessions I received. I didn’t want to see anyone become unhappy by getting involved with me !”
Amane san said, her voice hoarse.
But she still held my right hand and put quite a bit of strength into it.
This is why Amane san was alone in high school.
….Then why did Amane-san help me?
“Why did Amane san help me? From the sound of it, you didn’t want anything to do with me either, right?”
”……You were alike. You were like Sorane.”
“What do you mean?”
“Your mood, your way of thinking. You have a similar name. So I tried to redeem myself a little by helping you. I was just using you. So I don’t deserve to be thanked by you.”
Amane san looked as if she was in a great deal of pain.
In fact, she must have been in a lot of pain.
Sometimes I felt as if Amane san was not looking at me.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m not gonna change the fact that I was saved by Amane san no matter what reason. I don’t care if you use me. If that will save Amane san, then use me to your heart’s content. I wanna return the favor to Amane san.”
It doesn’t matter.
It doesn’t matter how Amane san sees me and why she saved me.
I feel indebted to Amane san and want to return the favor.
Maybe I’m too trusting that Amane san is taking advantage of me.
It’s not like that at all.
“Are you sure?”
“Of course. I’m gonna stay by your side. So you can rely on me as much as you want, and I don’t mind if you wanna be spoiled. I have no intention of leaving Amane san.”
That’s probably the best I can do to repay her right now.
“Sora, you are really alike in that way.”
Amane san said as she turned away.
“I see.”
I’ve never met Sorane san, so I don’t know, but judging from her reaction, we seem to be quite similar.
We’re the opposite sex, though, I believe.
“Well then, can you spoil me?”
Amane san asked while looking me up and down.
To be honest, she is quite cute.
How could any man in this world refuse such a request?
“Of course.”
“Please lend me your chest.”
“As you wish.”
I sat on the bed and hugged Amane san.
In my chest is the petite Amane san.
Her body temperature is still a little hot because of the heat.
Amane san was sobbing as she nuzzled her face against my chest.
I was puzzled, not knowing what to do, but I gently rubbed her back.
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