Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/2912051598917319858
A few years later.
Elis and I were in sixth grade.
By then, I was just as fluent in German as I was in Japanese—if not more so—and I rarely, if ever, had any trouble with the language.
“Rintaro, let’s go watch a soccer game this weekend!”
“Sorry, I’ve got plans with Elis that day—”
“Oh, right. My bad. I guess I can’t bother you then.”
A boy in my class nudged my shoulder with a smirk.
I tilted my head, not sure what was so funny, when a girl’s voice piped up from behind me.
“You two are always together, aren’t you?”
“Well, we’ve known each other for a long time, and we live close by.”
When I replied like that, everyone around us exchanged glances and laughed again.
As I’ve gotten older, these kinds of comments have become more frequent, but it’s a hassle to deny them every time, so lately I’ve just been letting them say whatever they want.
As for our relationship, I think it’s closer to family than to a romantic couple. We’re often together at school, and we usually walk home together after class. We hang out on our days off, and since our parents get along well, it’s not uncommon for us to have dinner at one of our houses.
But that’s all there is to it.
Elis and I aren’t dating, and I’ve never even confessed my feelings to her.
“Rintaro, you’re like that, aren’t you?”
“What do you mean, ‘like that’?”
“Oh, nothing really~?”
I glanced over at her, hoping for some help, and saw that Elis’s cheeks were slightly flushed. But she wasn’t denying it or looking flustered; she was just happily tugging at my sleeve.
“Elis, say something too.”
“…Huh?”
“Nah, never mind.”
Elis gave a soft smile.
Seeing her face, I just felt like, “Oh well, whatever.”
After school, Elis and I walked out of the school building side by side, just like always.
She used to walk a step behind me most of the time, but before I knew it, we were walking side by side. We were close enough that our shoulders might brush, but Ellis didn’t try to pull away.
Ellis has changed a lot over the past five years.
She’s still shy, but she’s started talking to her close female friends more during breaks, and when the conversation turns to her favorite manga or anime, she laughs much more happily than she used to.
She’s gotten taller, and lately she seems to have taken an interest in fashion, so I’ve been dragged along on shopping trips more often.
I looked at her as if she were my own little sister.
The Elis who used to grip the hem of her shirt tightly and talk to people timidly was gone.
It made me happy. But at the same time, I think I felt a little lonely.
It felt like Elis was slowly slipping out of my grasp.
★ ☆ ★
“Rintaro.”
One evening, my dad called me into the living room, where I found several brochures spread out on the table. They were brochures for Japanese junior high schools.
“I mentioned this a while back. Don’t you think it’s about time we started thinking about going back to Japan?”
“…Yeah.”
I sat down in a chair and looked at the brochures.
Photos of students in uniforms laughing in front of the school building.
Classroom scenes, club activities, college acceptance rates.
It all felt like a story from a distant world.
“If we’re going back, I think junior high school is the best time to start. And that means taking the entrance exams.”
“Entrance exams…”
“Of course, Rintaro’s feelings are the most important thing. But if we’re thinking about your future, taking the exams here makes a big difference. It’ll give you more options if you aim for a good university, and if you take the junior high entrance exams, your experience as a returnee will be a real asset.”
Dad said that and waited for my answer.
Mom was also looking at me in silence.
I liked life in Germany. I had friends. I’d settled into school. I hardly ever had trouble with the language anymore.
Yet, I couldn’t bring myself to say I didn’t want to go.
In my own childish way, I’d been vaguely thinking about the future.
I probably wouldn’t live in Germany forever. Someday, somewhere, the time would come for me to return to Japan. And maybe that time was now.
The last thing that came to mind was Ellis.
It would be lonely to be apart. But Ellis isn’t the same as she used to be.
She’d probably be able to get along just fine with everyone else even without me.
When I thought that, the weight in my chest lifted just a little.
Or maybe I just wanted to believe it had lifted.
“…I’ll just take the exam. I’ll give it a try.”
That was my answer.
“Are you going to tell Eris?”
When Mom asked me that, I shook my head.
“Not yet.”
“Why not?”
“It’d be embarrassing if I fail. Besides, it’d be weird to tell her when I don’t even know if I’ll pass.”
Mom looked like she wanted to say something, but in the end, she didn’t ask any further.
I didn’t say anything else either.
The truth was, I was just scared.
I’d be in trouble if Ellis started crying.
If she told me not to go, my resolve would waver.
If she looked straight at me with those blue eyes, I’d surely be at a loss for words.
So I decided to keep quiet until everything was settled.
★ ☆ ★
For a while after that, I started going straight home after school more often.
Even when Ellis asked me to hang out, I made up excuses about having things to do at home.
At first, that worked fine.
“Are you busy again today?”
“Sorry. My dad asked me to do something.”
“Oh, okay.”
Ellis lowered her eyebrows in disappointment, but she didn’t ask any further.
She just nodded without a hint of doubt, accepting that if I said so, then it must be true.
That made me feel even more guilty.
At some point, I started telling myself it was just a rehearsal for when I was gone.
“Sorry. I’ll hang out with you properly once things settle down.”
“Okay. I’ll wait.”
Elis smiled. It was that awkward smile she used to have.
I think she prioritized the fact that I didn’t want to talk about it over the fact that I was hiding something.
That’s why I found it even harder to speak up.
Then the new year came, and it was early February.
I successfully got into my first-choice middle school.
My dad, who had seen me get accepted, let out a sigh of relief.
Mom ruffled my hair a little roughly and smiled, saying, “You worked so hard.”
I was genuinely happy about getting in.
But more than that, I felt weighed down by the fact that I had to say goodbye to Ellis.
That evening, I called Ellis out.
I think the place was a small park a short distance from school.
Maybe because it’s a painful memory, my recollection is a bit fuzzy.
“Rintaro.”
When Ellis spotted me, she came running over as usual.
But the moment she saw my face, she stopped in her tracks.
“What’s wrong?”
Sensing that something was wrong, she asked, her voice trembling.
I kept my head down. I couldn’t look at Ellis’s face.
“I need to talk to you. I’m going back to Japan.”
I knew I had to say it, so I forced the words out.
“……To Japan?”
“I’ll be attending school in Japan starting in middle school. I passed the entrance exam.”
“Entrance exam……?”
Elis blinked slowly.
It looked like she was trying to piece together the meaning of my words in her head.
“Starting when?”
“In April.”
“This April……”
When I nodded, Elis fell silent.
I thought she was going to get mad at me.
I thought she’d blame me for not telling her.
But Ellis said nothing. When I tentatively looked up, I saw her face—her eyes strained, holding back tears, trying to force a smile.
“…Will I get to see you? Will I get to see Rintaro again?”
Ellis said that in a trembling voice.
“We’ll see each other!”
I answered immediately.
“I’ll definitely come over here someday, and if you come to Japan, I’ll welcome you with open arms.”
With every word I spoke, I felt like the promise was getting lighter.
But I couldn’t stay silent either.
“So, this isn’t the end.”
“…Really?”
“Really. We’ll definitely see each other again.”
Elis wiped away the tears that had finally overflowed.
Her smile remained a bit tear-stained.
“I’m going to try even harder.”
“At what?”
“Everything. Japanese, my clothes, my hair! By the time we meet again, I’ll be so different that Rintaro will be surprised!”
In the end, I couldn’t find the right words to match her determination, and the day of my return home arrived.
★ ☆ ★
The day I returned home.
Elis and her parents had come to the airport to see me off.
Elis and I stood side by side while the adults exchanged farewells.
Unlike usual, Elis didn’t grab hold of my clothes.
She just stood at a distance where we could almost touch but couldn’t quite.
“I’ll call you right away and write you letters… so don’t look like that.”
“…I’m not.”
She was.
Her face looked like she was about to cry at any moment.
Boarding time was approaching, and my mom called out to me.
I looked over at Ellis.
“See you later, Ellis.”
Ellis bit her lip just once.
Then she smiled, as if to hold back her tears.
“See you later, Rintaro.”
We took one last photo.
I thought I was smiling like I always did.
Ellis stood next to me, leaning in slightly as if to get closer.
That became my last photo in Germany.
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