Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/2912051598917319858
“Rintaro, can I talk to you for a second?”
As I was clearing the table after dinner, Ellis approached me, looking somewhat restless.
“…Sure, what’s up?”
I braced myself instinctively.
From past experience, whenever Ellis tried to formally ask for advice or a favor, it usually meant something bad, something that would give me a heart attack, or both.
“Actually, my class is having a get-together too.”
“Oh, really?”
I was a little surprised that my voice sounded brighter than I’d intended.
I’d been worried about Elis’s college life for a while.
She says she’s doing fine, and I’ve heard she has friends she takes classes with. But I know firsthand how hard it is to live far from home. So when she told me she’d been invited to a class social, I honestly thought it was great news.
“That’s great. If Ellis doesn’t mind, I think you should go. Making friends at this stage really does make college life a lot easier in so many ways.”
“Yeah, I think so too. That’s why I’m thinking of going.”
“I see. Have fun, then. So… where is it?”
I realized I’d asked a question I shouldn’t have.
Asking every little detail about where and what they’re doing makes me sound just like a parent who’s worried about where their kid is hanging out after school.
The last time I treated Ellis like a child, she made it clear—in a rather forceful way—that she wasn’t a child anymore, and I was forced to accept that she was now a grown woman.
Since then, I’ve been careful not to treat her the way I used to; I’ve tried to maintain a distance appropriate for the adult she’s become.
And yet, why?
—Why am I so worried about Ellis?
No matter how hard I searched my heart, I couldn’t find an answer.
“It’s a place near the station closest to campus. They’re going to eat and hang out together.”
“I see. There are plenty of nice places around there.”
“Yeah, but… it looks like they serve alcohol, too.”
“Huh?”
A word I couldn’t ignore caught my ear, snapping me out of my thoughts.
“Wait a minute, there are minors there, right?”
“Yeah, but it seems like the ones who can drink will be drinking.”
“No, no, no.”
Even though they say you can’t drink until you’re 20, some izakayas near the university have lax age verification. If someone were to say, “You’re a college student now, so you should be able to take responsibility for that yourself,” they’d be right, but do they usually hold a welcome party with alcohol right after entering college? Is that normal…?
—Ellis, you shouldn’t go to a drinking party like that.
But the words I was about to say got stuck in my throat and wouldn’t come out.
I have a feeling that if I told Ellis not to go, she’d just say, “Okay,” without arguing.
But that would also mean robbing Ellis of a chance to fit in at college.
I told her I wanted to keep my distance from her at college to protect my own sense of “normal.”
Do I really have the right to stop her?
Of course not. The most I can do is—
“It’s okay, Rintaro. I definitely won’t drink any alcohol.”
“Yeah, I’m not worried about that.”
“Hehe, you’re so kind, Rintaro.”
Ellis laughed as if she could see right through me.
It was just so pathetic…
“Sorry, that was none of my business, was it?”
When I said that, Ellis thought for a moment, then her face lit up as if she’d just had an idea.
“Then, can I ask you for a favor, Rintaro?”
“A favor?”
“I want you to pick me up at the station on the way home. It doesn’t have to be near the restaurant. If you wait for me at the station, I’ll make sure to go there.”
Saying that, Ellis gave me a smile, as if she were soothing a child.
“Then I’ll be able to go to the social gathering with peace of mind.”
That’s a sneaky way to put it.
I’m the one who’ll feel relieved by that suggestion.
“Alright. Let me know when you find out what time it ends. I’ll come pick you up at the station.”
“Thanks, Rintaro.”
“But hey, if things get weird, get out of there right away. If anything dangerous happens, then—”
“Yeah, I promise.”
As if to say she’d be fine, Ellis cut me off mid-sentence.
—I’m such an idiot.
Even though Ellis is way more mature than me, from what perspective am I even worrying about her?
★ ☆ ★
“Ellis -chan, let’s take a picture! A picture!”
The girl with purple hair sitting next to me pointed her smartphone at us.
I, Ellis Wiegert, looked at the phone while holding a potato stick, and the shutter clicked as if she’d been waiting for that moment.
“Whoa, this is crazy! I wasn’t even paying attention to the angle, but I look absolutely stunning.”
Squeals of excitement.
My first social gathering was noisier than I’d expected, and the atmosphere was far more restless than I’d imagined.
To my right were the guys, already on their third toast of the day.
To my left were the girls, continuing to burst into high-pitched laughter that sounded like brass instruments.
And I was sitting surrounded by the people who organized the party—the ones who were especially high-energy even within our class.
—This wasn’t what I had in mind.
Actually, I’d planned to just have a quiet meal with the kids I usually take classes with. I’d intended to have casual conversations about our high school days in Japan or, conversely, life in Germany, and only chat a little with others if they happened to strike up a conversation.
“Wait, I want a picture with Ellis-chan too!”
“No guys allowed!”
“Why not?!”
“Come on, you’re definitely up to something. I mean, your eyes are already popping out.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?! I’m not that desperate!”
A burst of laughter erupted.
Since it seemed like that was the funny part, I gave a slight smile too.
I guess we just don’t click.
I tried really hard to make Rintaro think I was cute, but I’m naturally shy, so keeping up with such high-energy people—it’s not impossible, but it’s really exhausting.
“Hey, where in Germany are you from, Ellis chan?”
“Berlin.”
“Wait, is that the capital? Do you think it’s different from Japan?”
“I think it is.”
“Hey, why did you come to Japan to study? Is it because of anime or something?”
“That’s part of it.”
“Seriously, your Japanese is super good! Where did you learn it?”
“In Germany.”
“Huh, self-taught?”
“I had a little help.”
“From who?”
“An acquaintance.”
I answered matter-of-factly, thinking, This is such a hassle.
I was starting to regret it a little.
“…Ellis, do you have a boyfriend?”
“No, I don’t.”
Rintaro isn’t my boyfriend.
I’d been with Rintaro for a long time, and our families were close, so I thought we were in love. But since he went back to Japan and left me behind, Rintaro isn’t my boyfriend right now.
In Japan, I hear they call this “natural dissolution.”
Right now, I’m in the middle of trying to get back together with him.
If Rintaro’s up for it, the moment he says yes, he’ll be my boyfriend.
But Rintaro’s stubborn, so he just won’t give in. He’s a tough nut to crack.
“So, can I throw my hat in the ring?”
“Whoa, whoa, are you confessing? Are you confessing!?”
The blushing guy teased me.
When my dad got drunk at home, I used to wonder why things got so annoying, but maybe because the people here aren’t used to drinking, or maybe because they’re drunk on the atmosphere, they were even worse.
Everyone’s getting hyped up, completely ignoring me.
Like they want to join in or become friends.
I didn’t think about that one bit.
Because I have absolutely no interest in it.
As long as Rintaro was there, nothing else mattered to me.
“Hey, Ellis,”
the purple-haired girl sitting next to me said, the corner of her mouth twisting slightly.
“…Don’t you think you should be a little friendlier?”
“Huh?”
“I mean, I’m not trying to criticize you or anything, but… everyone’s trying to talk to you, and you’re being so cold.”
A girl sitting one seat back chimed in with a laugh.
“Oh, I kind of get that.”
“Right? I get that you’re pretty and get fawned over, so you might get a big head, but acting all high and mighty isn’t cute, you know?”
It was said half-jokingly, like friendly advice.
But the irritation mixed in there came through even without being spoken.
“…I’m sorry.”
I didn’t really care what they thought of me, but I certainly didn’t mean to make them feel uncomfortable.
When I apologized, the two of them grimaced even more.
“No, no, we don’t mean it in that serious way.”
“It just makes it seem like we’re the ones at fault.”
That put me in a bind.
I’d acted demurely just as they’d wanted.
“Come on, come on, this is just how Ellis is, right?”
A guy standing behind them chimed in, laughing.
“Exactly, is that what they call ‘cool’?”
“I get it—being aloof is actually kind of nice.”
“Hey, we haven’t really talked to Ellis at all.”
“Exactly! Let’s go to the after-party! Let’s go to the after-party, right?”
Why do they want to talk more after everything that just happened?
I kept my mouth shut and let out a small sigh.
It’s such a hassle.
It’s a huge hassle.
But I just have to put up with it a little longer.
Once this is over, Rintaro will come pick me up at the station.
Thinking that, I felt a little warmth deep in my chest.
I wonder what Rintaro is doing right now.
Will he be waiting for me?
Is he worried about me?
Thinking that, I felt like I could just about tolerate the noise I’d been hating until a moment ago.
★ ☆ ★
By the time we left the bar, the night air had turned a little chilly.
“Who’s going to the after-party next?!”
Someone shouted, and a few people raised their hands.
It’s going to get noisy again.
“Eris-chan’s coming too, right?”
As if it were a given, I shook my head.
“I’m going home.”
“Eh? Why?”
“My host family is coming to pick me up.”
When I said that, there was a slight stir around me.
“Family? Do you have a curfew or something?”
“They’re strict about that kind of thing with exchange students.”
“It’s just an after-party—it’ll be fine, right? You should let them know.”
It wasn’t a curfew.
But I didn’t feel like explaining.
“They’re worried about me.”
Saying only that, I gave a slight bow.
“Thanks for today. I had fun.”
It wasn’t fun.
But as a farewell, that was probably the right thing to say.
I started walking toward the station.
People were still calling out to me from behind, but I didn’t look back.
With every step away from the bar, it got a little easier to breathe.
The noisy voices, the people standing too close, the pointless questions—I’d forget them all.
I was getting closer to the meeting spot.
──I wonder if Rintaro is here yet.
Just thinking that made my pace quicken slightly.
Near the station ticket gates.
Rintaro was standing a little off to the side of the crowd.
He looked at his phone, looked up, and scanned his surroundings.
He walked a little, then stopped again.
He was clearly not at ease.
──He’s worried about me.
I couldn’t help but think that, and my heart gave a little squeeze.
Just that alone made all the unpleasant things that happened today disappear.
“Rintaro.”
When I called out from behind him, Rintaro spun around quickly.
“Ellis —”
The moment he saw my face, Rintaro let out a clear sigh.
It was as if he was truly, deeply relieved.
“Are you okay? Did you drink?”
“I didn’t drink.”
“Did anyone do anything weird to you?”
“I’m fine. You’re worrying too much, Rintaro.”
“Oh… I’m glad.”
Rintaro let out another deep sigh.
—Ah, I’m so glad I came to the party.
The party itself wasn’t fun.
I was surrounded by people I didn’t particularly want to talk to, but I had to make at least a minimal effort not to ruin the atmosphere.
But if it meant getting to see Rintaro’s face like this, it was worth it.
I wonder just how worried Rintaro had been for me all this time.
I hope he was so worried he couldn’t sit still.
I hope he was worried enough to bring him to tears.
Because that would mean I was on Rintaro’s mind the whole time.
“Hey, Rintaro. Alcohol is scary, isn’t it?”
“……Did something happen after all?”
Rintaro’s face tenses up.
I was happy to see that reaction, and I felt a warm sensation filling the depths of my chest.
“Everyone was just a little different from usual.”
“So that’s how it was…”
“But I knew you’d come, Rintaro, so I wasn’t worried.”
“…I see.”
Rintaro didn’t say anything else.
But his ears were a little red.
I could feel all the unpleasant feelings from earlier melting away.
Ah.
The get-together was the best.
★ ☆ ★
Around noon the next day.
I’d just finished lunch and was watching an anime I’d missed in the living room when I got a message from a girl I usually take classes with.
“Ellis-chan, look at this…!”
“It’s gone crazy.”
Gone crazy? What?
Not quite sure what was going on, I opened the link attached to the message, and a social media post appeared.
What was posted there was a photo of me holding a bag of chips, glancing slightly at my phone. A girl with purple hair sitting next to me had taken it without asking.
They had thoughtfully blurred out everything except for me and that girl.
And that photo, which had been made public to a wide audience, had garnered a ton of reactions.
“There was this insanely beautiful international student in my department…”
“Isn’t her face just too perfect?”
“Is this the same university?”
“Which department?”
“I honestly thought she was a model.”
The numbers kept rising.
I stared at the screen for a while, then blinked softly.
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