Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16817330662140414210/episodes/16817330664488519324
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When I looked back objectively at the triple-digit number of messages I had sent, I reconfirmed that I was an irredeemable Yandere.
My love for Masa kun has never stopped. The feeling of the hot kisses is still there. Every time I think back on it, my body burns.
Looking back, I realize that ever since I got rid of that annoying woman, Kisaki, I have been on fire.
I could say that I went too far with Kisaki. How was she as a human being? Even her cronies were given an iron fist sanction by me. It was an action that could have been viewed with a white eye.
But what was wrong with that?
I would use my hands to eliminate anything that stood in the way of Me and Masa kun’s love affair. There will be no exceptions.
“Ah……reply to me.”
The children around her look at her frequently with a slightly withdrawn gaze.
I know the names of my classmates, of course. But I can’t recall them. I recognize them by other names, classmates A and B.
In my world, Masa kun and I are the main characters. The rest of them are just mobs. Harmful mobs or harmless mobs? That’s about the difference.
At last, the obstacles to our world have disappeared. Until then, I had to endure. Masa kun’s tendency to get involved attracts the pests that are an eyesore.
We won’t have to worry for a while longer. I hope so. It has been completely repainted to my color. No bad insects will be attracted to him.
“Aren’t you going to tell us a story, Kamisato san?”
The girl next to me asked with a bitter smile. I was too unfriendly, especially in the last few months. I used to have the warmth to build up a minimum relationship with the kids in my class.
Now there was no sign of it. I was immersed in a world with Masa kun, not even looking at the other kids. I was a child who did not socialize well with the other children in the class.
“Okay, let’s talk for a moment, shall we?”
It’s not that I can’t. It’s just that I refrain from doing so. I didn’t want to make room in my head for anyone other than Masa kun.
I smiled gently, even after all this time. It’s bothering me, but it’s better than just ignoring it.
While we were talking about trivial things, my brain was filled with anticipation for the future with Masa kun.
I’m much more absorbed in Masa kun than before. I was going to make Masa kun captivated, but I think I’m the one who’s actually captivated.
As the saying goes, the mummy hunter himself becomes a mummy. In the case of Masa kun and I, we are both mummies.
It is better to change the metaphor. We are both predators and prey.
Eventually, we will devour each other’s flesh. While our own flesh is dwindling, we’re eating the other’s flesh. Flesh and flesh will mix, and the boundary between me and Masa kun will overlap.
That is my ideal system. I am Masa kun and Masa kun is me. It is the ideal.
I wonder if I will ever reach it.
I ended the conversation at an appropriate point. Masa kun had noticed the notification. I decided to meet him at the bullet train connection.
“I’m going to the bathroom.”
I got up from my seat and left the wagon. I heard her whispering my dissatisfaction. Was it an insinuation?
I didn’t have to worry about it. I have Masa kun with me.
I leaned against the wall and waited, and then Masa kun arrived. It’s no surprise that he’s cool, but I feel like we’re starting to look a lot alike these days.
Perhaps it is because we spend so much time together. I often hear that pets and their owners look alike.
I apologized for getting too absorbed in the message. Masa kun seemed to be scared. I can’t help it.
If I talk too much, my words become lighter. But too many words are essential to express uncontrollable feelings. It was a dilemma.
Masa kun seemed to be somewhat in a state of limbo. It was frustrating to know that he still had concerns even after having set the stage so well.
When we were riding together on a bicycle, we would talk for several minutes at a time, or we would send messages like we did today. It’s obviously abnormal—it’s no surprise that Masa kun is scared of me and suspicious of me.
However, Masa kun will eventually understand. If he doesn’t, I’m finished. If Masa kun does not approve of me, the value of my life will be more than halved.
After Masa kun left, I had no choice but to mock myself. What a heavy and troublesome woman I am. Why can’t I stop depending on him?
It was so funny that I had to laugh. What I do is always an extension of what I do, but I feel as if I am thrown into a fog. I don’t know what the right direction is.
Seeing my face like that, the girl next to me was frightened. It must have been a very unnatural expression on my face.
I must have been pretty much abandoned by the other kids in the class. With a face like this, no one would eventually come around.
People will leave in droves, and those who approach me out of goodwill or kindness will disappear.
If that happens, Masa kun will be the only one for me.
My behavior, which is unpleasant, inexplicable, and unwatchable from the outside, could even be called a kind of self-injurious behavior.
I set a boundary that I dare to act in an extreme way that would make people hate me. In this way, I am trying to build a world with only Masa kun.
There is no turning back now. At the very least, while I’m in this high school, people will leave my surroundings, and isolation will be inevitable.
And that’s okay, that’s fine.
It’s all thanks to you, Masa kun, that I am the way I am, you know?
Over the course of more than a decade, my love for Masa kun has grown into a huge curse. A curse that will destroy not only me, but also Masa kun.
I’m about to fall. Not to the ground. I will take the path of corruption from which there is no return.
There must be no more hesitation.
“Wait for me, Masa kun……♡”
My heart will not stop. It is no different than a runaway train that has lost control of its brakes–.
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