Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/2912051596567318343/episodes/2912051599703356305
(Kuroi Amana)
“It’s been a while since my last collab stream! Please make yourselves at home today, too!”
A dark room. I hear senpai’s voice through the monitor.
“What am I even doing?”
I put my feet up on the gaming chair and bury my head in my knees.
Why am I even streaming when I don’t like this person at all?
In fact, I hate him.
He rudely ignored my messages and hurt me.
When I waited for him at school, he treated me like a burden and made it clear that I was at fault.
He spoke eloquently, with a smug look on his face, about what a terrible person I am.
That’s why I hate him.
To be honest, I’d been getting a big head until now. My subscriber count was rising, my listeners were fawning over me, and I’d gotten carried away thinking I was some kind of princess.
I was made to regret it, and my heart ached as if it were festering.
I hate having my heart shaken from a different angle, too.
Before I could even gather my thoughts, we had lunch together during the break.
That’s when I found out that Hanazawa and senior weren’t actually a thing.
I’d been robbed of my reason to get close to him.
I hate him. He hates me, too.
My pride was crushed. I reflected on it. I have no intention of forcing things anymore.
Hanazawa, on the other hand, schemed to bring us together. There’s no point in trying to win him over—going along with her plan would only be a loss.
There’s no reason to get involved.
And yet, here I am, watching his stream.
……Our first meeting, the memories of him supporting me all this time. Every single word of our conversations comes back to me vividly.
The reality of our interactions when we actually met—my pounding heart, the heat on my face, that sweet sensation—all comes flooding back.
I couldn’t do it.
There was no way to hide it anymore.
“I… I like you, Senpai.”
The aching longing in my chest turned into a pain like being stabbed with a knife.
Senpai hates me and is rejecting me.
“Ugh, ugh…”
A sob escaped me. Tears spilled down my cheeks.
Surely, ever since I sent that first DM—ever since I typed those words with trembling fingers, filled with nervousness—my feelings of love had already begun to sprout.
I realized it far too late. I used to be good at seeing the big picture—I had a hawk-like perspective, knowing I wasn’t some princess—but as my subscriber count grew, my vision clouded over, and before I knew it, I couldn’t even see my own heart anymore.
I cried, stifling my sobs. My knees grew damp and stung. My eyes hurt even more.
That was when it happened.
[Actually, I have some good news for everyone!]
Senpai’s cheerful voice came through the monitor.
[I’m going to Round 2 this weekend! It’s my first super-youthful event since starting high school!]
His tone was brimming with anticipation.
[And I’m going with two super-cute girls!! Haven’t I used up all my luck in life already?]
He spoke with genuine joy.
For a moment, my mind was in a whirl. Why was he looking forward to hanging out with me, someone he dislikes?
But I realized it right away.
What my senior was looking forward to was hanging out with Kuroi Amana. It was definitely not Ichigo Daikyo.
He was so full of anticipation because he hadn’t realized I was Ichigo Daikyo.
I felt like I’d seen a glimmer of hope.
I’m not the arrogant, princess-like, awful Ichigo Daikyo—I’m the humble Kuroi Amana I’m meant to be, and I can build a relationship with senpai.
As a junior who’s only just met him, I can be with him
A small warmth settled into my frozen heart.
I wiped away my tears and smiled.
I found myself looking forward to the weekend even more than he does.
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