Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/2912051603068864073
On Monday morning, Rino was waiting at the corner along my route to school.
She wasn’t carrying any paper bags or documents. She wasn’t putting on a brave face to show anyone, either. She was just waiting for me with the same face I’d always known—the face of my childhood friend.
“Minato, can we talk for a second?”
Shiori, standing next to me, looked at me. When I nodded, she stepped back a little and waited. Rino noticed the distance between us and made a bitter face.
“I’m sorry I was so harsh yesterday. But seriously, did things really have to come to this? Can’t we just talk normally like we used to, or stop by the convenience store on the way home? Can’t we at least do that much?”
It wasn’t an accusatory tone. That’s why it felt even heavier deep in my chest.
I do remember the fun times I had with Rino back then. I remember buying ice cream at the convenience store and playing silly games until we got a winning ticket. But that “like we used to” also includes the times when I’d just laugh it off even when she called me “convenient.”
“We can talk. But we can’t go back to the way things were before.”
“Why?”
“That distance we had before was only possible because I was bottling up things I didn’t like. I don’t think you did any of it on purpose. But I don’t want to go back to that distance anymore.”
Rino fell silent.
She didn’t look like she was about to cry. She just looked back and forth between me and Shiori with an expression like she’d taken a wrong turn and couldn’t find her way back.
“…I see.”
Rino said only that, then walked ahead toward school.
When morning classes ended, Mikoto came over to my desk. She spoke in a very soft voice, not loud enough for anyone around us to hear.
“Sano-kun, I turned him down. I gave him my answer myself.”
“I see. Was it okay?”
“I don’t know if it was okay. But it’s over.”
Mikoto smiled. It wasn’t her usual bright smile; she looked a little tired. I thought I’d be willing to listen to her talk it over. But Mikoto’s next words made me hesitate a little.
“In situations like this, I used to tell Segawa-kun everything. It was a relief to talk to Segawa-kun. So I was wondering if we could go back to the way things were, at least a little bit.”
Like before.
It was the second time she’d said those words today.
“I understand that you’ve been going through a tough time, Mikoto. But I don’t think it’s right to make me your confidant like I used to be. If you want to talk, I can listen in the classroom—as long as you don’t hide it behind Shiori. But I can’t go back to being that special place just for you.”
Mikoto’s eyes turned a little red.
“It’s not like I wanted to be your girlfriend or anything.”
“Yeah.”
“But maybe I just wanted to be special to you.”
Mikoto said this herself, then looked hurt. I couldn’t add anything. I felt that if I comforted her about something she’d already realized on her own, we’d just end up back where we started.
After school, Chitose called me over.
Outside the faculty room, she looked a little more tired than before. After the mistake with the cultural festival application, it seemed the executive committee members’ views of her had shifted slightly. Even so, she stood tall, and I could tell she wasn’t the type to crumble easily.
“Segawa-kun, I’m sorry about the other day. I admit I relied on you too much. So, I won’t push you from now on. But, could we go back to a relationship where you’d just double-check things for me a little when necessary?”
Her words were polite. But what she was asking for hadn’t changed. She was trying to keep me in a role where I’d fill in for her, just in a more subtle way.
“If you officially ask me to join the committee, I’ll consider it. But I won’t go back to being your personal checker. If you’re going to set things up so you can’t manage without me, I think that’s something you need to change.”
Chitose-senpai lowered her eyes.
“You’re being pretty harsh.”
“I’m trying to be more straightforward than I used to be.”
“I see. Boys really do change once they get a girlfriend, don’t they?”
“It’s not Shiori’s fault.”
When I replied immediately, Senpai was at a loss for words for just a moment. Then, she gave a faint smile.
“I know. …Or at least, I thought I did.”
Only her last words were a little faint.
As I headed toward the entrance, Mei was standing there. This time, she wasn’t with any friends. She was standing alone, next to the shoe lockers.
“Senpai, I said I wouldn’t ask you for favors anymore, but I’ve really been having more and more trouble with club activities. I think I was relying on you too much.”
Unusually, there was little pretense in Mei’s voice.
“But, even if it’s just once in a while, is it okay if we just talk normally? Like we used to, as senior and junior?”
“It’s fine if we talk normally in public. But if you’re going to make that troubled face to get me to do something, or badmouth Shiori, then no.”
Mei bit her lip.
“Senpai, you really aren’t coming back, are you?”
“I’m not coming back.”
I said it curtly.
With those words, Mei finally seemed to give up and lowered her head. She didn’t get angry or cry. Her expression simply showed that she’d been made to realize the kind place her senior had once reserved for her was no longer there.
By the time we walked out of the school gate, I was pretty exhausted.
Shiori sat next to me, saying nothing for a while. She was silently giving me time to sort out my thoughts.
“I feel like I’ve been saying the same thing all day today.”
“You won’t go back, is that it?”
“Yeah. To Rino, to Mikoto, to senpai, and to Mei. It’s not that I’ve come to dislike them. But things won’t go back to the way they were before.”
Shiori nodded slightly as we walked.
“I think that’s fine. Not going back is different from hating everything.”
I looked at Shiori’s profile.
I didn’t mind being needed by someone. It made me happy when people relied on me, and when they told me I’d helped them, I felt like I had value. That’s why I think I couldn’t walk away, even when I was being used for convenience.
But now, there’s someone by my side in a different way.
“I’m not going back to being that convenient guy.”
Saying it out loud made my chest feel a little lighter.
Shiori took my hand.
“Yes. Minato-kun is my boyfriend.”
Those words weren’t a command or a confirmation. They were simply a statement of where we stood right now. I squeezed Shiori’s hand in return, and we walked toward the station. Even if someone called out to me again tomorrow, I had no intention of letting go of this hand and returning to where I used to be.
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