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Lunch break the next day.
The message I received from Kotonoha was brief.
“Can you spare a little time after school today? I’ll be waiting in the courtyard.”
This must be a follow-up to what she mentioned at the store yesterday.
I left the reply box open and let my finger hover over it for a moment.
If it’s just to hear her out, I have no reason to refuse.
Kotonoha and I are childhood friends, and we’ll keep running into each other at school. Rather than continuing to avoid the awkwardness, it might be better to talk things through properly once and for all.
“Okay. I have a part-time job, so I can’t talk for very long, though.”
As soon as I hit send, it showed as read.
『Thanks』
Even though it was just that brief exchange, I felt a flutter deep in my chest.
It’s not like I’m getting my hopes up.
Kotonoha has a boyfriend named Ren.
My feelings for her are long over.
“Kasugai-kun”
I heard a voice right in front of me and looked up to see Himuro standing across from me at my desk.
“You’ve been staring at your smartphone with a troubled look on your face for a while now.”
“Kotonoha messaged me, saying she wants to talk after school.”
“Did you turn her down?”
“I decided to meet her.”
The warmth drained from Himuro’s expression.
“Didn’t you hear what I said yesterday?”
“I did. But it’d be weird to turn her down without even knowing what she wants to talk about, right?”
“I can guess what it’s about without even asking.”
“What do you mean?”
“She’s probably anxious that Kasugai-kun has made new friends behind her back, and she wants to secure the same position she had before.”
“Aren’t you overthinking it?”
“Kasugai-kun isn’t thinking enough.”
Himuro placed both hands on my desk.
Our classmates nearby were looking over to see what was going on.
“Mizuse-san has Takamiya-kun. Given that, it’s far too selfish to expect Kasugai-kun to prioritize her just like before, or else she’ll be dissatisfied.”
“Kotonoha didn’t say anything like that, did she?”
“That’s exactly why it’ll be too late once she does say it.”
“Himuro.”
When I called her name a little more firmly, she fell silent.
I know she’s worried about me.
But hearing Kotonoha being unfairly criticized like that still didn’t sit well with me.
“I’m just going to talk to her. Nothing weird will happen.”
“……What’s ‘weird’ to you, Kasugai-kun, isn’t necessarily the same as what’s ‘weird’ to me.”
“What do you mean?”
“Exactly what I said.”
Himuro looked away from me.
“We have Student Council work today. Please be back in fifteen minutes.”
“I’ve got about an hour to spare before my part-time job, though.”
“Fifteen minutes.”
“Isn’t that a bit short?”
“I’m making a generous concession.”
What exactly was she conceding?
Himuro offered no further explanation and returned to her seat.
Almost as if to take her place, Natsume approached my desk.
“Hey, Kasugai.”
“What is it now?”
“Isn’t Himuro super jealous?”
“Of who?”
“You’re really something.”
For some reason, she seemed impressed.
“As a fellow heartbreak survivor, she’s just worried about you, isn’t she?”
“So, do you think Himuro would get mad if I talked to a person alone?”
“She’d probably get mad if it looked like you were about to get mixed up with another weirdo.”
“Do you really have that little faith in me? You’ve been wagging your tail at Makabe-senpai for three whole years, after all.”
“Watch your mouth!”
Natsume slapped me on the shoulder.
Behind her, Shiina was quietly jotting something down in her notebook.
“Shiina. Don’t use that conversation in your novel, okay?”
“I won’t.”
“Really?”
“I’ve already jotted down the plot where a jealous black-haired young lady imposes a fifteen-minute time limit on the protagonist before his reunion with his childhood friend.”
“You’re using it, aren’t you?”
“It’s not a fact—it’s just material for my story.”
“It’s practically the same, isn’t it?”
While the commotion around me grew louder, Himuro never once looked my way.
However, the textbook in her hands remained on the same page for quite some time.
♦
After school.
When I headed toward the courtyard, Kotonoha was waiting on a bench in front of the flower bed.
It was almost exactly the same spot where my unrequited love had ended.
“Sorry for calling you out on such short notice.”
“That’s fine.”
I sat down on the bench, keeping a little distance from Kotonoha.
I think I would have sat much closer to her in the past.
Perhaps Kotonoha noticed the distance too, because for just a moment, she glanced down at the space between us.
“I was surprised when I went to the shop yesterday.”
“What was it?”
“Because Yuto looked different—like someone I didn’t know.”
“I was just serving customers, wasn’t I?”
“That’s not what I mean.”
Kotonoha clasped her hands on her lap.
“When he was talking with Himuro-san and the others, he was smiling so naturally.”
“I smile just as naturally in front of you too.”
“Not lately.”
Those were unexpected words.
“Around me and Ren, Yuto’s always being careful. He smiles, but it’s not like it used to be.”
“It’s normal to be careful around a couple who just started dating, isn’t it?”
“I’m not saying I want him to be careful.”
“Then what am I supposed to do?”
My voice came out stronger than I’d intended.
Kotonoha’s shoulders trembled slightly.
“Am I supposed to just step between the two of you like I always have and act like nothing’s changed?”
“I…”
“Kotonoha, you chose Ren. I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that, and I want the two of you to be happy. But I can’t keep staying in the same place I was yesterday.”
“Why?”
Kotonoha looked genuinely confused.
Since she didn’t know I had feelings for her, maybe that was only natural.
If I told her now, she’d understand everything.
I used to like Kotonoha.
That’s why I’ve been keeping my distance.
Just those few words would be enough.
But even so, I couldn’t bring myself to say it.
Confessing now would only put Kotonoha in an awkward position.
“I mean, I have my own life, too.”
“Am I no longer needed in that life?”
“That’s not what I’m talking about.”
“Then, just stay with me as my childhood friend, like you always have.”
Kotonoha grabbed the sleeve of my school uniform.
It had always been her habit when she wanted to ask me for something.
“I’m not saying you can’t get along with Himuro and the others. But don’t go anywhere without telling me.”
“Kotonoha.”
“You’ve always been right by my side, haven’t you, Yuto?”
Deep in my heart, a feeling I thought was long gone stirred.
I wished I’d heard words like these before we started dating.
I’d been waiting for words that showed she needed me for so long.
But Kotonoha has a boyfriend now.
“I can’t do that.”
I gently pried Kotonoha’s hand off my sleeve.
“Ren’s already by your side, isn’t he?”
“Ren and you are different.”
“That’s exactly why.”
“I don’t get it.”
“Even if you don’t, just remember this one thing: I can’t go back to being your convenient childhood friend.”
Kotonoha’s face contorted as if she were about to cry.
Seeing that, my heart ached.
But if I apologized, we’d just end up right back where we started.
“I’m leaving now.”
“Wait!”
“I have to go to my part-time job.”
“Yuto!”
Ignoring her calls to stop me, I walked away from the courtyard.
Just before entering the school building, I saw someone standing in the shadow of a pillar in the hallway.
“……Himuro?”
“I just happened to be passing by.”
“The student council room is in the opposite direction, isn’t it?”
“I was taking a detour.”
Himuro replied nonchalantly.
However, she was clutching two cans of juice in her hand.
“Were you listening?”
“Just a little bit, partway through.”
“That’s eavesdropping.”
“Since Kasugai-kun had gone past the agreed-upon fifteen minutes, I came to check on him.”
“It’s only been about twelve minutes.”
“It felt like fifteen minutes to me.”
Himuro held out one of the cans to me.
It was sweet milk cocoa.
“Please drink this.”
“What’s gotten into you all of a sudden?”
“Kasugai-kun needs some sugar right now.”
“That’s the kind of reasoning Natsume would use.”
“I’m much more logical.”
When I took the can, it was still warm.
Himuro peered at my face and said quietly.
“You had the nerve to say that.”
“What?”
“That you couldn’t go back.”
“You were listening, weren’t you?”
“Yes.”
“You’ve got a nasty personality.”
“I won’t deny it.”
Himuro smiled ever so slightly.
“But I’m relieved.”
“Because I pushed Kotonoha away?”
“Because you chose not to hurt yourself for Mizuse-san’s sake.”
Those words sank into my heart with surprising ease.
“Thank you.”
“……You’re just going to say ‘thank you’ so casually again, aren’t you?”
“Should I not have said it?”
“No. Please say it more often.”
“Which is it?”
“But please reserve it for me alone.”
“That’s obviously impossible.”
We walked side by side toward the student council room.
Along the way, Himuro kept glancing at my face.
“I’m not crying.”
“I know.”
“Then what are you looking at?”
“I’m making sure you’re walking properly toward me, Kasugai-kun.”
“Don’t treat me like a kid.”
“If I leave you alone, you’ll try to go back to the past in a heartbeat.”
I couldn’t respond to Himuro’s words.
I can’t go back to the past.
I was finally beginning to accept that obvious fact.
However, at that moment, I hadn’t noticed.
I hadn’t noticed that Kotonoha, left behind in the courtyard, was staring at the backs of the two of us.
Nor had I noticed that Himuro, walking beside me, looked just a little bit happy as she matched her pace to mine.
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