Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/822139845923627658/episodes/2912051595796877078
“Mashiro…”
Standing in the night breeze, Mashiro looked at me with a surprised expression.
To be honest, I was surprised to see Mashiro there, too.
“What are you doing out at this hour?”
“…Nothing. It’s none of your business, Kensuke.”
Mashiro turned her gaze back to the scenery.
I stepped back a little and stood next to her.
“What are you doing here, Kensuke?”
“……Nothing. It’s none of your business, though.”
“……What? Are you picking a fight with me?”
“I was just copying you.”
“…………Oh.”
Mashiro snorted in a huff, looking displeased, and fell silent.
“I-is that all?”
“What do you mean, ‘that’s all’?”
“Well, usually you’d be the one to boldly pick a fight and indiscriminately hurl insults at me…”
“Is that what you want me to do?”
“Of course not. I always tell you I’m not a masochist.”
“……I actually think the person who’s always saying they’re not a masochist is the creepier one.”
W-well, she’s got a point…
“I’m not exactly free enough to put up with you all the time, Kensuke.”
After that, Mashiro fell silent again and began gazing at the scenery.
Her profile was inscrutable, but I could tell she was thinking about something.
Mashiro and I used to come here often. Whenever we were troubled by something or needed to think.
The fact that Mashiro is here means she’s probably deep in thought about something beyond my reach.
“Hey, Kensuke.”
“What?”
“Awara Sayuri is exactly the type of girl you’d like, isn’t she?”
“Huh! W-well… yeah, I guess so.”
The kind of girl who’s every guy’s dream.
A kind girl who likes me.
“Don’t you like her? I mean, Awara Sayuri.”
“Well… I mean, don’t you hate her?”
“Hate what?”
“Talking about Awara san. You were so pissed off about her the other day.”
“…Never mind that.”
Mashiro’s expression looked as if she had given up on something.
I’d never seen Mashiro like this before.
“So, don’t you like her? Or rather, you do like her, right?”
“……I don’t know. If you ask me whether I like her or not, I guess I probably do, but…”
“! …You’re so vague. Just say you like her.”
“No…”
But still, I can’t stop worrying about Mashiro. She just keeps popping into my mind.
“Hey, Kensuke.”
Mashiro said it casually, without turning her head.
“You don’t need to worry about me.”
“……Huh?”
“You’re Kensuke, after all. You’re probably worried about me anyway, aren’t you?”
“W-well…”
“……Haa. Really, you’re hopeless, Kensuke.”
Mashiro leaned against the railing and continued.
“To begin with, Kensuke and I are just childhood friends—nothing more, nothing less, right? We’re not even close friends… well, obviously not lovers either. We’ve just happened to be near each other since way back. Isn’t that right?”
“Well… I guess so.”
“It’s true, Kensuke was always trailing behind me. And… I’ll admit—just for today—that you often cleaned up after me. Just for today, though.”
“You don’t need to make that clear…”
I don’t really want a one-day-only acknowledgment.
“But I’m not some fragile person who relies on Kensuke being behind me, always there to back me up. I’m Mashiro, you know? Even if no one’s around, I stand at the top all by myself. That’s the kind of person I am.”
“The fact that this statement doesn’t come across as self-important… that’s just like Her Majesty, I suppose…”
I feel like this is exactly what makes Mashiro, well, Mashiro.
“Awara Sayuri said it too. That Kanesuke is overflowing with hopeless kindness.”
“I don’t really get it myself, though.”
“…Honestly, I think you’re right.”
“Huh…”
“By the way, I don’t use words like ‘kindness’—words that would make Kensuke happy.”
“We don’t need that clarification.”
“Anyway, Kensuke is just a weakling low-level guy…”
“Hey, take that back. ‘Weakling’ isn’t right, is it?”
“You’re just a lowly underling, so you should not object too…”
Mashiro looked at me with exasperation and cleared her throat.
“So, don’t go trying to be all grown-up and worry about my feelings. It’s actually rude to me. Got it? You got that, right? Yeah, thanks.”
“There it is, your signature self-contained monologue…”
Having said what she needed to say, Mashiro fell silent again and began gazing at the scenery.
Hearing that, I understood a little of what Mashiro was thinking.
But her “don’t worry about it” was clearly different from my “I’m worried.”
I wanted to put that into words somehow, but I couldn’t find the right ones.
Then, Mashiro spoke up, her voice tinged with nostalgia.
“We used to come here a lot, didn’t we? Though we haven’t been here much since we started high school.”
“Yeah, that’s true. Usually, Mashiro would completely outargue her classmates until they cried, then get sulky all by herself…”
“Hey, could you stop talking about me like that? I was just saying what was right. Don’t make me sound like the bad guy.”
“No, back in elementary school, you were totally the villain…”
You made both boys and girls cry, after all. You even made a teacher cry once.
Even back then, she had a dazzling glimpse of her queenly nature.
“Speaking of which, you’re the one who used to come here and cry every time something bad happened, weren’t you?”
“That’s true. I came here when Mashiro made me cry, too.”
“……Huh?”
“Maybe I’ll cry now, too……”
Mashiro sighed and gave me a reproachful look.
“But I did come to comfort you, didn’t I? I knew you’d be here anyway.”
“If you’re going to say that, I came to see you too, didn’t I?”
“But as far as I recall, you’ve never comforted me even once. After all, I’m not so fragile that I need to be comforted by someone like you. To begin with, I’m not influenced by you in the slightest bit.”
“I-I see.”
“—So.”
Mashiro looked straight at me and said.
“You don’t need to worry about me.”
There was something gentle in Mashiro’s expression that tugged at my heart.
Seeing my reaction, Mashiro snapped back to reality and hurriedly added,
“W-well, despite how I look, I’m actually on girls’ side—or rather, I’m not the kind of overbearing person who’d cut them down without a second thought… I’m the type who doesn’t get in the way of earnest girls who honestly express their feelings.”
“Mashiro…”
“Well? I’m not just scary, am I? Have you changed your opinion of me?”
Facing Mashiro’s provocative gaze, I replied without a moment’s hesitation.
“I’ve known that for a long time, you know.”
For some reason, I blurted that out without meaning to.
“! W-well… if that’s the case, then fine. Yeah, it’s… fine.”
Mashiro’s cheeks flushed red, and she turned her face away.
My face started to heat up too, and I looked away from Mashiro.
“…………”
“…………”
An awkward yet pleasant silence hung in the air.
It felt as though we might just go back to the way things used to be.
“W-well, that’s about it.”
Mashiro muttered, then stopped leaning against the railing and stood up straight.
It felt like the curtain was about to fall.
“Kensuke, you should just do whatever you want. I’m not angry anymore, and I don’t care. You’re free at last.”
Every word Mashiro spoke carried a sense of finality.
What is this feeling?
“Hey, Kensuke.”
Mashiro called my name once more.
Her expression seemed somehow refreshing; she didn’t appear to be lost in thought anymore.
That, too, stuck with me, squeezing my chest.
Mashiro softened her expression slightly and spoke as if gently letting go.
“You can forget about sleeping with me.”
With those words, Mashiro walked away.
A loneliness deeper than simply being left behind washed over my entire body.
“What the hell… was that?”
Mashiro was already gone.
By the time I got home, it was already past midnight.
In other words, it was already Friday.
Today, I’m going to give Awara san my answer to her confession.
“…………”
I sank deep into the sofa and stared at the dim ceiling.
And so, I kept thinking.
Time flew by in the blink of an eye, and before I knew it, a faint, bright light was streaming in through the gap in the curtains.
“Yeah… I guess so.”
I stood up and muttered to myself.
—Friday, after school.
Behind the gym, I stood face-to-face with Aihara.
“First of all, I’m sorry. I made you wait so long.”
“No, it’s okay. Actually, I’m glad to know you were thinking about it so seriously.”
“Awara sab… thank you.”
She really is a good person.
That’s why… I…
“Awara san, um…”
I am going to start over again.
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