Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16818093073752055113/episodes/16818093075017357285
Before I knew it, the sun had set and night had fallen.
At any rate, I put something in me and took a bath, but I could hardly remember anything else.
All I could think about was my earlier exchange with Mai, and I couldn’t think about anything else.
I couldn’t sleep at night thinking about what on earth Mai was talking about.
It was no different when I got under the covers.
I never thought I would go from being a shady loner to an offender. ……
After all, it’s not a good idea to get involved with people.
In the end, I ended up waking up in the morning without getting any sleep at all.
My face, which was already dull, now has dark circles under my eyes, which makes it not only dull, but even creepy.
To be honest, I didn’t want to go to school, but if I missed school, Mai’s accusations would become more and more justified.
Dragging my heavy body, I managed to change into my school uniform and stood in front of the only mirror in the house.
There was a shadowy figure in a shabby school uniform.
I contrast my own appearance with that of Mai yesterday in my mind.
It is often said that looks are 90% ……, but I – the shadowy loner – and Mai – the beautiful former idol girl.
It was obvious to everyone which of us had more credibility.
I’m sure the teachers and classmates who took Mai’s accusations to heart are probably waiting in the wings right now to denounce me.
But …… I still had to go.
There are times when you have to go even though you know you will lose.
No, well, …… dressing up like that won’t change reality, and it won’t stop my legs from shaking.
And I’m a gender equalist who has nothing to do with machoism that appeals to my “masculinity”.
But …… still, I had to at least pretend to be strong in my own mind, otherwise I wouldn’t have been able to do it.
Really…..even though I’m at this age, and I already don’t want much,…….
I’ve already given up on having a real life, having a girlfriend, or even making friends.
All I want is to be alone in my room, quietly surrounded by my favorite two-dimensional works of art, making out with my “AI girlfriend,”…… but this world won’t even allow me to do that.
I sigh loudly as I leave my room and head off to school.
The warm spring air and sunshine are lighting up the streets.
It was the kind of weather that makes you feel excited even if there is nothing going on in your mind.
However, my heart was feeling down, in direct contrast to the atmosphere.
I am always in a low mood on my way to school, but never so low as today.
The rusty pedals of my bicycle were heavier than ever, as if they were weighed down.
But still, I pedaled forward, step by step,…… or rather, I was going forward.
Eventually, I finally arrive at school.
Bicycle parking, shoe boxes, hallways, stairs, and classrooms…….
The heartbeat of my heart is gradually increasing, and it reached its highest point the moment I entered the classroom.
…… first glance, the inside of the classroom was no different than usual.
No one spoke to me as usual.
That was no different.
But from the moment I stepped into the classroom, I felt the eyes of my classmates on me.
At that point, it was already abnormal.
To begin with, the fact that my classmates are looking at me, a shy, boring guy, is strange in and of itself.
I mean,……, the classmates who were chatting and laughing peacefully just a few minutes ago suddenly became distant, and the classroom was even quiet and still.
Their reactions were clearly negative.
I was sweating cold sweat as if I had a spatula stuck in my back.
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