Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16817330665196863261/episodes/16817330665197113095
Tsukane is …… after all, because she forgave me for being like this.
That’s the weakness of being in love, that girl told me, but I guess my heart wanted to be blamed.
I picked up the flying ball and tossed it in the basket, and I started talking.
It wasn’t a comedy – just an immature boy’s decision.
We both sat in chairs along the wall and I fully revealed my inside story.
Chiharu, who listened to me quietly, had only one comment.
“I see. You should be dead.”
“That’s simply a rude remark.”
I told her about the time I was confessed to by Tsukane and Tanba-san. For one thing, I kept it a secret that my relationship with Tanba-san was not genuine.
That is a fact that even Tsukane does not know.
“I understand Tomose’s feelings, you know? I think it’s …… difficult to know which feelings to take from the two of you.”
When multiple love feelings are directed toward one person, the unfulfilled love feelings are traced to a broken heart.
I must not forget that to choose is to abandon at the same time.
I didn’t want to step on Tsukane’s love.
At the same time, I didn’t want to overstep on Tanba-san’s hope.
That is why I chose to fulfill Tsukane’s love after I fulfilled Tanba-san’s wishes.
I don’t need to tell her who had priority in this choice, but it was Tanba-san, and Tsukane’s will was denied.
In my mind, there is an expiration date on my relationship with Tanba-san, but Tsukane doesn’t know that.
Exactly one week… but I’m painfully aware of how long that is.
I have been suffering for the entire period of time until the exam started.
Even if it was only half, it was unbearable, wasn’t it?
Now I’m forcing Tsukane to suffer the same …….That’s disgusting.
Anyone would despise such a man.
In the meantime, there is a good chance that Tsukane will forget her love for me or choose another man.
–I don’t want that. I don’t even want to think about that possibility.
After all, I was self-centered and a scum human being without limit.
“But I wanted you to choose Tsukane. …… I think it would be better for you to betray Tanba san and get married to Tsukane. I’m sorry, I don’t mean to impose my ideals on you.”
I knew what the right answer was,…… and I’ve ruminated over my decision many times and regretted it many times.
“You’re right.”
“Tomose knows that, after all”
“But I prioritized my emotions…I guess it’s too girly.”
“YEah. I think you’re …… cute like a girl.”
“Stop it. If I let Chiharu fall in love with me, Shuta will kill me.”
“I’m not such an easy heroine. Don’t get carried away.”
I joked, and she replied in a strong tone.
I’m a little scared because the distance I felt with Tsukane as a friend has quickly shrunk, but Chiharu has Shuta, so I guess it will be all right.
“But you see, Tomose’s choice is naive. It’s definitely not kindness. You can’t make that mistake.”
“Yes, you’re right. –I was spoiled.”
It was taken as if Chiharu was telling herself that.
Next, she muttered quietly, her voice really trembling.
“Because I have …… something to do with it too.”
“Eh?”
I wonder how my relationship with Tsukane would affect her.
After Tsukane’s confession, she seemed strangely concerned about it, but was it because of the relationship?
“Looking at the two of you, I can’t help but look at the possibility that my confession to Shuuta might not work out.”
Even though we are in the same group,…… no, that’s why.
It seems that it’s not going to be someone else’s event …….
Our group was made up of four people, and we were certainly more united because of it.
I didn’t really worry about it, but if my relationship with Tanba-san were to become known, it might turn out to be something really bad.
“I’m begging you, don’t try to mend the mood more, Tomose and Tsukane, show me how happy you are. If you don’t, I’m so anxious, so worried, I feel like my heart is going to burst!”
My place in the world is not a choice between heaven and earth.
There is no way I can be at those extremes.
Hearing Chiharu’s voice become rough, I know the magnitude of her feelings.
There’s no comparison to me…I wonder if that feeling has really surfaced recently.
I don’t think so. It sounds like a long-held, long-cherished wish.
“The choice will not be reversed. All that remains is Tomose’s will.”
“If there is a happy ending in the end, is there redemption?”
“Yes. That’s also an important emotional theory when it comes to the trajectory of life.”
Can I choose ……?
That emotionalism is also my game, even if it tramples on others.
There is no ideological conflict between righteousness and emotionalism.
I knew that, but I couldn’t be sure, so I was in trouble.
However, I could accept my emotionalism.
It’s not that I was living on a positive track.
I knew that I shouldn’t affirm the disasters born from my living trajectory…… but it wasn’t too late yet.
“Thanks, Chiharu. It worked,…… and was much stronger than the ball you just hit.”
“Well, then,…… grit your teeth.”
Then a tremendous sound echoed through the gymnasium.
Chiharu’s slap hit me on the cheek.
Actually, it’s probably too merciless…but it’s not bad for atonement.
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