Source
https://ncode.syosetu.com/n5018if/86/
I, Hiiragi Tsumugi, enjoyed the best time when I was a little girl.
I think that Ryoma, who is caring, kind and has a wonderful smile, and …… well, Reo was still cute at that time.
The time when I played with these three people was the happiest time for me, I think.
There was a time when Reo and I had a big fight over Ryoma, and I got angry because Ryoma only cared about Reo, who was the same gender as him, and I got stubborn too.
When my parents told me that we were moving to a new house, I couldn’t say goodbye to Ryoma, and I regret that very much now.
I used to play only with boys who were my childhood friends. I realised that I hadn’t learnt how to get on with people of the same gender at all. That’s why I got on with boys easily, but I didn’t get on with girls at all and didn’t make any friends.
And because I was always competing with Reo, I didn’t realise how talented I was, but apparently I was very athletic.
It wasn’t until my upper primary school years that I realised that I was so good-looking that all the boys in my class liked me.
All the boys I was close to seemed to like me. But I had no intention of going out with any of them.
Because there was no boy better looking than Ryoma anywhere. I wanted to meet him, but I was not eligible to meet him, so I spent my days with only my childhood memories in my heart.
But when I was in junior high school, I found something I was crazy about.
One of my seniors invited me to join cheerleading. I was very athletic, so I immediately became a regular, and that’s when the hell started.
The world of girls is tough. The seniors who had told me I had talent were also aggressive towards me when all the boys who liked them became infatuated with me.
I would smile during the games, but when the games were over, no one would talk to me.
A lot of nasty rumours were spread about me and I quickly became the enemy of the girls.
You’re flirting with men. Don’t steal men. Don’t play the pretty girl.
I was told these words every day, and boys who believed the bad rumours gave me dirty looks.
I feel repulsed by their ulterior motives. Boys pretend to be worried about me, because they like me. But I didn’t want to be alone, so I just had to get by with an affectionate smile.
When did it all start? When did I stop being me? I used to swing around Ryoma and Reo, but now I live by listening to their faces.
I don’t remember being someone who adapts so well to other people.
Yet, because I’m communicative and can’t get on the same wavelength, I say and do things at my own pace and make enemies with those around me. I don’t intend to be like that, but it seems I’m dominating people with my looks and talent.
I didn’t have this problem when I was talking to Ryoma. ……
I loved cheerleading, so I joined a strong school and wish I could have concentrated on club activities, but I still couldn’t avoid the colourful love affairs, and the boys would fawn over me and the girls would hate me. I couldn’t change that pattern.
I couldn’t stand the club members’ criticism, which increased day by day, and I was forced to change schools.
If I am hated wherever I go, I want to go back to that town. I want to go back to that town where Ryoma is.
So I took advantage of my parents’ business trip to stay at Ryoma’s house.
Ryoma, whom I met for the first time in ten years, has grown taller and become very cool, but he was still as kind as ever.
He has a strange honorific tone and keeps his distance from girls, which is different from the Ryoma of the past. It’s no wonder he couldn’t be the same as he was when I was little. Reo is still the same, and it’s disgusting.
I want to do better at the next school.
I wanted to continue cheerleading, but I don’t want to because I’m sure it will be the same. No women-only club activities. What about mixed-gender club activities, the result might still be the same.
Then maybe I should take the plunge and join a boys-only club.
I wanted to make friends of the same gender at this school at all costs.
If only there were girls who were more beautiful and more talented than me!
But such girls are hard to find. But when I saw her at my new school, it was like falling in love at first sight.
Asahina Arisa. Her good looks were incomparably better than mine. She was superior to me in every way, and moreover, she was very cool.
She was adored by her peers, and her behaviour was even dignified.
If I stay by her side, I won’t be treated like the most beautiful girl in school.
I want to be friends with her. If I do so, I am sure they will think of me as just another girl.
Furthermore, there was a girl called Otsuki Shizuku by her side, who had a similar atmosphere to Ryoma. I might be able to get along with this girl naturally. Maybe it was lucky that I intuitively thought so.
But.
The way of life that has been ingrained in me over the past ten years is hard to change.
I could talk well with Arisa and Shizuku, but I was not on the same wavelength as the other girls.
In the end, the boys came to me, who was more affectionate than Arisa, who was beautiful but strict, and I’m about to repeat the same thing again.
New environment, new friends. I was repeating the same thing again, even though Ryoma, whom I adore, was there.
“What am I doing? ……”
I’ve been shutting myself away at Ryoma’s house and causing trouble.
Hiyori-chan also had a gloomy look on her face, so I wonder what am I really doing.
Come to think of it, this happened to me in the past too.
When I was five years old, I was depressed because my favourite grandmother had passed away.
How did I get over that time when all I did was cry? Yes, that time …….
The door opens with the sound of thumping footsteps.
“Tsumugi, let’s play!”
That’s right. Ryoma called me out.
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