Source
https://ncode.syosetu.com/n5612jg/43/
I was ten years old when I learned that my mother was crazy.
I hated my mother, who was abnormal, strange, and horrifying.
But I couldn’t hate her enough.
Because that’s how my mother loved me.
She loved me in a way that was the opposite of abuse.
That’s why I can’t separate myself from her.
I couldn’t leave her alone.
It would have been easier if she didn’t love me at all.
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I was alone in my room studying, unaware that Ken was remembering his trauma and Kaoru was comforting him about it.
The holidays had only just begun, but there was no harm in finishing my assignments early.
The elementary school kids who had been in and out of the house until recently had stopped coming.
Either they got tired of my mother or someone noticed the anomaly.
It doesn’t matter to me.
I was just relieved that they stopped coming.
The clock struck one in the afternoon, and I was hungry.
There was nothing to eat at home, so I decided to go out to eat.
Since I was only going to eat lunch, I went outside in my room clothes.
The sun was shining brightly, and I closed the door once without thinking.
I heard on TV this morning that the maximum temperature was 37 degrees Celsius.
I put on the hat I left at the entrance and go outside again.
It was a little better, but the sun was still strong.
I really wished I had bought a parasol.
It was a 15-minute walk to the nearest restaurant, but even that was too much work, so I decided to stop at a convenience store in front of the restaurant.
“Hm? It’s Miyu.”
When I entered the convenience store, I found Makoto standing at the ice cream counter.
“What are you doing here? There’s a closer convenience store near your house, right?”
Makoto’s house was just around the corner from Ken’s house.
There are plenty of places closer than this convenience store.
“I got a pretty nice bike. I’d like to test drive it.”
Come to think of it, there was an expensive-looking road bike parked in front of the convenience store.
I think he was probably talking about that one.
“What about you, Miyu? Lunch?”
“Correct. I was gonna go to a diner, but it’s too hot.
I’m surprised you rode your bike in such heat.”
“Well, you get a nice breeze when you ride a bike. It’s surprisingly comfortable.”
I think he is a really active guy.
Since junior high school, he has been a good student, athletic, and a class mood maker.
He was popular with both men and women alike, and was even more popular than Ken, who was supposed to have better specs than him.
However, he respected Ken the most and Ken also trusted Makoto.
Even after the incident, Ken did not close his heart to Makoto.
“You really are a no-brainer, aren’t you?”
“You’re suddenly dissing me?”
“I’m complimenting you.”
Makoto tilted his head and laughed.
“…..You’ve changed, Miyu.”
“Is that so?”
“No, it’s not that you’ve changed, it’s that you’ve come back. You and Ken had a bad vibe when you were in ninth grade.”
“It’s been two years now.”
That time was definitely right after that event.
It was the event that completely ended the friendship between the two of us.
The fact that we are now talking on good terms at school is not just because we became friends.
We both unconsciously think about my mother.
Maybe that is why I’m a little envious of Ayaka, who is insensitive and talks as she pleases.
“That’s true. Ken laughs a lot more these days, and I’m sure he’s less traumatized.”
That was something I did not understand.
If he had, how happy would he be?
“Well, overcoming trauma doesn’t solve Ken’s problems.”
The problem Makoto is talking about is probably Ken’s family.
He doesn’t like his father much either.
He is a good person, but he is the one who brought Ken and that woman together.
Well, if it weren’t for that, Ken and I would never have met.
I wonder what kind of relationship we would have had if we had met without that woman.
It’s a question I can’t help but think about….
“Oh ! It’s pretty good time. I’m gonna go now. Let’s go have fun again at some other time.”
Makoto left the convenience store in a hurry.
He was just trying to cool off, judging by the fact that he didn’t buy any ice cream after all.
After confirming that Makoto had cycled away from inside, I bought a pasta bento and headed home.
On the way, I recall my conversation with Makoto.
The crime of destroying the “family” in Ken’s mind.
I wonder if I have atoned for it.
“If I had, I wouldn’t have said that.”
Ken always says.
He always says he wants to leave that house. He wants to be independent.
What should I do?
What can I do for him as an ex-sister and a friend?
Thinking about these things, I walk under the sun.
The road in the distance was shaking like my heart.
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