Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16818093094088809262/episodes/16818093094158864328
An hour or so later, I gently opened the door to her room and peeked in to find her still curled up in the corner of her bed, asleep.
With her knees drawn up to her chest and half-hidden under the covers, her tiny figure resembled a small animal sheltering from a storm.
I wished she would stretch out and sleep more, but it’s not an easy habit to break after so many years of ingrained habits.
“……Now, what should I do?”
I shook my head lightly as I mumbled.
Since I started working in the loan shark, I’ve been working almost without taking a break.
With a week-long gap spread out before me, I couldn’t think of what to do.
For now, I decided to go to the kitchen and make myself a cup of coffee to calm down.
As I poured water into the pot and waited for the aroma of the beans to waft through the air, I suddenly heard a sharp cry from the bed.
“Stop it ! ! Help me ! ! Mother ! !”
As I ran into the room, leaving my mug on the floor, I found her eyes tightly closed, her shaking hands gripping the covers as she continued to scream.
Sweat was beading on her forehead and her cheeks were twitching.
Come on, are you serious? I muttered to myself as my heart pounded.
“A-are you all right !?”
I rushed over to her side and lightly tapped her cheek to wake her up.
Then her eyes fluttered open, and the next moment her face contorted in fear.
“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, please don’t hit me, please don’t kick me, please don’t rape me, I’ll keep quiet, please forgive me.” she said, trembling as she curled up on the edge of the bed and held her head in her hands.
Her frightened voice and shrunken figure made my chest tighten.
“C-calm down. I won’t hit you, I won’t kick you, I won’t do anything like that. It’s all right, don’t worry.”
I took some distance and repeated it again and again in a soft voice.
But she covered her ears and kept mumbling the same words like an incantation.
I, defeated, patiently kept repeating the same words.
After about 30 minutes, her trembling gradually subsided and her breathing calmed down.
But her eyes had gone blank again.
Like a glass ball whose light had gone out, they reflected nothing.
Depending on how I treated her, I might put her under unnecessary strain.
I should give her some time alone for a while.
“…..You can take it easy until you calm down. I’ll leave some tea and snacks for now, so you can eat them if you feel like it.
Saying that, I quietly left the room.
The right thing to do would be to take her to the hospital.
But she was only about 10 years old.
There was no way she could go to the hospital by herself, and if I took her there, she would most certainly look suspicious.
I have contacts with black market doctors, but while there are those who treat broken bones and other illnesses, I’ve never heard of a quack doctor who treats emotional wounds.
“…..I’ll have to teach myself.”
I hate studying, but I have no choice.
I took out my phone and started searching.
Apparently, this kind of condition is called ‘PTSD’.
I had never heard of this word before, but it seems to be a well-known word among people around the world. It takes a long time to recover, and there is no guarantee of a full recovery.
Many people have to live with it for the rest of their lives.
First of all, it is important to create a stress-free environment.
It takes a long time to receive what I ordered by mail.
Before setting up a room exclusively for her, it might be a good idea for me to spend time in the living room and for her to use my room freely.
That way, she would have some time to feel a little more secure.
I was concerned that she hadn’t come out in the evening, so I called out from a distance, ‘Call me if you need anything.” then knocked and entered her room.
She was in the corner of the bed, holding her knees and leaning against the wall.
The tea and pastries I had left there were untouched and cold.
“…Call me if you need anything, okay?”
I told her and gently closed the door.
There was no use in being impatient. There was nothing I could do about it.
I thought about what to do for dinner.
Delivery would be easy, but homemade food might give her a sense of security.
I want something nutritious, but with a small amount to give her strength.
She said she likes rice, so something to go with that….
As I was thinking, the door to my room creaked open with a small sound.
“….Hm? What’s wrong?”
“…Toi..let…”
“Oh, the bathroom.” I pointed toward the front door.
She bowed her head and walked away with small movements of her thin legs.
Her back was so unreliable that I couldn’t take my eyes off her.
Okay, let’s make curry.
We can put plenty of vegetables in it, and maybe we can eat a little more.
But when I looked around the house, the refrigerator was almost empty.
It would be a hassle to go shopping.
In the end, I decided to order curry on delivery.
She returns from the bathroom and retreats back to her room.
When the evening meal arrives, I put the curry on the table and we begin to eat together in silence.
Her hand holding the spoon was small, and her gesture of bringing the curry to her mouth was careful.
When we finished eating, I urged her to take a quick shower and reapply a new compress.
Every time I touched her skin, which was red with burn marks, my heart ached.
After drying her hair and brushing her teeth, she silently returned to bed. I should go to bed, too.
Maybe I should go to the government office tomorrow to go through the formalities…no, wait.
If I do that, the boss might find out.
It would also be bad if the police or the Child Guidance Center took notice of me.
It would be dangerous to make any rash moves.
If I had a friend, I could talk to them about it, but I don’t have that kind of connection in this kind of life.
As I lay on the sofa, thinking in circles in my head, exhaustion began to overtake me at once.
Before I knew it, I had fallen asleep.
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