Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16818093075629868223/episodes/16818792438196613909
(Kurusu’s perspective)
“Great work today!”
“”“Great work today!”””
As I bowed my head, the staff on set called out to me.
Turning my back, I left the studio still filled with the atmosphere of work and stepped straight out into the hallway.
Then, I spotted Ando san in her suit. She must have noticed me too… She lifted her plastic bottle slightly and waved at me.
“Good work, Kurusu-chan.”
“Thank you, Ando san.”
I walked alongside her and took the water bottle.
“So, I believe our next schedule is an interview, right?”
“Well, the drama’s starting soon, so it’s all about promotion, promotion♪ Since you’re on the cover of the next issue, after all.”
“…I know I’m saying this late, but I was pretty much a minor character, right?”
“For someone who says that, you appear more often than the other minor characters, don’t you? Getting asked to do promotion means you’re important enough.”
Is that so?
Getting treated like this for my first drama.
I am happy, but part of me wonders, “Am I really the right person for this?”
Even though there’s a leading actress, I feel like I’m stepping out of line.
Still, I’m grateful that accepting these promotional requests has led to appearances on various shows and in magazines.
Even so, I still can’t shake this feeling of inferiority—
(…Come to think of it, it’s been two days since then.)
—Since I spoke with Irie.
Two days have passed without me going to school or contacting him.
Why? Even if asked, honestly, it all boils down to one word: “Scared.”
I know it’s my own fault, but I just can’t muster the courage to fix things.
(Truthfully, I should properly apologize…)
For saying those strange things back then.
Forget everything I said back then.
Irie isn’t at fault at all. I was just scared, anxious, and used Irie—who was worried about me—as a convenient scapegoat.
(Haa…)
If I could go back, I’d go back to that day.
But what I said back then was true. I’m scared of losing his gaze.
Well, in the end, I was the one who pulled the trigger that made things worse.
(…Maybe this way was better after all.)
Because I’m such a weak person.
If distance was going to grow between us eventually anyway, maybe it’s better to separate now.
If I’m going to break down later anyway, then perhaps it’s better to just—
“Speaking of which, Kurusu-chan—”
As I walked down the TV station hallway, Ando san beside me suddenly asked.
“About next week… I can clear your schedule for about a week.”
“Huh?”
“Huh? What do you mean? The cultural festival starts next week, right? I heard from the teachers that you’ll have make-up classes since you’re not attending, but even with that, wouldn’t a week be enough to properly enjoy the festival?”
Oh right, the cultural festival starts next week.
I’d completely forgotten, assuming I wouldn’t be able to go because of work anyway…
“Well, I could attend the festival but…”
“But?”
“That phrasing makes it sound like you are forcing to clear my schedule.”
My schedule was already packed.
She hadn’t mentioned rescheduling before, so bringing it up suddenly meant Ando san was trying to accommodate me out of consideration.
“Hmm… You’re still as perceptive as ever, Kurusu-chan.”
“Ando san’s just terrible at hiding things.”
“Haha! Listen, honest girls are more popular, you know!”
Ando san laughed cheerfully.
Glancing sideways at her, I couldn’t help but let out a wry smile.
(I hear it from others all the time… I totally get why everyone wants Ando san as their manager.)
Bright, easygoing, never makes mistakes at work.
Not only that, but she even considers her Client’s private life like this.
I can’t really say since I don’t know the other managers, but I find myself thinking it’s good that Ando san is my manager.
But—
“It’s fine just as it is.”
“Hm?”
“The cultural festival will be held again next year.”
—I appreciate him being considerate.
But… I just can’t… find the courage to go to school right now.
Can I even enjoy it when I haven’t helped prepare for the festival? Do I even belong there? And… I don’t know what to say if I see him.
(Then it’s better to just keep working.)
Thinking that, I step into the elevator.
There’s no sign of anyone else coming in, or even riding it.
So before Ando-san could press it, I pressed the button and closed the doors.
Then, for some reason.
Suddenly, Ando-san placed a hand on my head.
“Ah, Ando-san…?”
“It’s a bit hypocritical coming from us, who’re using you to make money, but you should enjoy school life. A cultural festival only happens three times in three years, after all.”
What… is she saying…?
But the hand on my head gently stroked me—
“If you ever want to quit modeling, you can quit anytime.”
—There’s no way I could.
It feels weird to say this myself, but letting go of a model with this much work lined up would mean significant losses.
Of course, the agency has no right to stop me from quitting or staying.
But it’s different when the person in charge says it to the girl they’re responsible for.
“What are you suddenly saying…”
That’s precisely why Ando san’s words were unexpected.
“I don’t want you to quit, but I’m telling you it’s possible anytime… So if something’s on your mind, you should go do it.”
And what was even more unexpected was—
“You must have something going on if you’re crying like this, right?”
…That I was regretting it more than I’d realized myself.
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