Source
https://kakuyomu.jp/works/16818093092067930254/episodes/16818622172564642358
“Who are you going to choose?”
On the way home. The words of the former chairman echoed in my brain.
I have to choose one person. But if I choose someone, there will inevitably be a sacrifice. How will that sacrifice affect us? I don’t know that now.
If I were asked to choose one person, whom would I choose? Yamanashi, who supports my existence? Hoshirobe, who I have known for a long time and we help each other? Miyabi, with whom I have a physical relationship and who loves and is loved by me? Surely, no matter who I choose, it is not the right choice.
It is wrong to sacrifice someone in order to save one person. But there is no such thing as a choice without sacrifice. This school life, my existence, and this world are all based on the sacrifice of something.
“…… one person, huh?”
I was just at that moment when I muttered to myself. The impact on my lower back. The redhead I’d seen before jumped into my field of vision as I staggered from the strong impact.
“Hey, Reito. You look kind of unhappy.”
“Guren, you should take it easy. I nearly fell.”
“Haha, if you fall over from something like this, your body must be pretty numb, right?”
Guren laughs out loud as he sees me rubbing my back. I’m a little annoyed, but I don’t feel like fighting back so I start walking again while chatting with Guren.
After walking for a while, I saw a vending machine. I was thirsty and decided to buy a juice at Guren’s expense, since I had just lost a game of rock-paper-scissors. I sat down on a bench nearby and sipped the juice.
“You’re on the Energizer again,……,you’ve had enough.”
“Ah, I’m trying to quit too, but I’m …… getting into the habit.”
I often choose drinks with caffeine. The reason for this is related to a certain nightmare. The nightmare is a dream from my junior high school days. The dream was about the time I had to quit my club activities. I dreamt that Hoshirobe, who hated me, threatened me with a knife. I dreamt that the people I beat in a fight chased me for the rest of my life.
I was stuck in the past and often had these dreams. I couldn’t be bothered if I kept having nightmares every time. I began to prolong my waking hours with caffeine to avoid the nightmares.
Nowadays I have fewer nightmares, perhaps because I have escaped the curse of the past. So I don’t need to take caffeine anymore, but I’ve become completely addicted to it.
“I’m in trouble. I want to quit, but I can’t concentrate without it.”
“Well, I guess it’s what you get for your own actions. Why don’t you ask Miyabi chan to tie you up?”
“That might not be a good idea because it would excite me.”
“…..”
“I’m just joking. So don’t look at me like that.”
“…Well, never mind. So, you seemed to be worried about something, is there something?”
I decided that I didn’t need to hide anything from Guren, so I told him what was going on.
“I was wondering what it was, it’s another woman… But, it’s a difficult problem. Being able to save only one person would be just painful.”
“…… honestly, I can’t cut someone off. Only now I want to curse myself for being a cheater.”
“……What do you want to do from your point of view?”
“…I don’t know. Even if I can be happy with the person I choose, when I think about the other two, I only feel more regretful. I wish all three of them would just hate me.”
“If that were to happen, you’d just cut yourself off… Maybe it’s best not to think about it too deeply? Those kind of things are things you take a long time to answer, right? I’m not forcing you to give it right now”
“Is that so…….”
“That’s right. Maybe if you hurry you’ll come up with something better.”
“But what if the three of them come at me?”
“Then you’ll have to cut your guts out. Even I can’t help you.”
“You’re a heartless bastard. Who do you think saved your life?”
“You can’t say that now. I don’t have a choice.”
“…..I never thought I’d be encouraged by you.”
“It’s a way of repaying debt. If you have the time to worry about such things, think about the Minazuki Festival. I don’t want it to turn out like last year.”
“That’s right… By the way, how did the student council’s performance go?”
“I’ve heard we’ll be talking about it tomorrow. I hope it won’t be like last year.”
“How bad was it last year?…”
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